HiS worDS vS MinE !

I got this from my friendster's bulletin board. For the record, i'm doing this entry due to my difficulty in sleeping tonight..

21 things girls don't realize....

1) Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about..

(this guy either he is a fool, haven't really make up his mind or simply a womaniser..)

2) Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

(oh really? maybe you should just stop trying..it works for me :) )

3) Guys go crazy over a girl's smile!

(no matter what we do, you guys will easily go crazy over it..!)

4) A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

(we like to maintain our friendship..we are just talking, no big deal ok!)

5) Giving a guy a hanging message like "you know what?..uh..nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking, and he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

(just to see how much you really care...)

6) If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't have to give advice.

(but giving a piece of advice, is one way to show you that we care..)

7) A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

(so, he did like me..hahaha)

8) Guy love you more than you love them!

(objection..this is soooooooooo not true!!)

9) Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole heck of a lot.

(or maybe he just learned the meaning of those words..)

10) If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about if for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time the girl.

(after that stupid act of yours, there will be no next time..if there is, consider yourself as lucky!)

11) If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and he is really thinking about something.

(or maybe he just bored..or thinking about other girls..??)

12) When a guy says he going crazy about the girl, he really is! Guys rarely say that..

(i guess this is true..i have a friend. He is extremely crazy for her!)

13) When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me.."

(then just say it..!)

14) If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

(does this mean, most of the time, guys just fooling around..??)

15) When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

(something good, healthy and positive i hope..)

16) Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are mad confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

(only straight guys would say this..)

17) A guy would give the world to be able to read a girl's mind for a day..

(keep on dreaming guys!)

18) No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it!

(you forgot the 'e' word..)

19) Not all guys are rude!! Just because one is rude, doesn't mean he represents all of them.

(i'll try to keep that in mind!)

20) When a guy sacrifies his sleep and health just to talk to you, he really likes you and want to be with you as much as possible..

(again, my friend is a good example..ahaha)

21) Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you, he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life..

(guys, sometimes, something are just not meant to be..move on. Like we do :) )

DaWai KokOD

Dalam kesibukan menyiapkan kerja-kerja yang semakin menyemakkan otak, aku terpandang sekotak dawai kokod di atas meja. Lantas, aku teringat seorang bekas teman sepejabat yang baru sahaja resign. Dia yang menghidupkan semula perkataan dawai kokod. Idea pun tringgggg...

Boleh tak, kalau aku samakan pencarian someone special dengan dawai kokod?? Dawai kokod tersusun rapi, each of it seems to be perfect. Kita tak boleh detect di mana cacat celanya. Sampailah kita mula menggunakannya. Sekali ketip, ok. Dua kali ketip, masih berfungsi. Kali ketiga dan seterusnya..dawai kokod stuck, tak mengetip kertas, patah mungkin...sedar tak sedar, dawai kokod pun habis digunakan. What do we do next? Kita gantikan dawai kokod yang baru la...Gantian dawai kokod yang baru pun, belum menjamin ketipan yang sempurna. Katalah ada 10 deretan dawai kokod, takkanlah semuanya rosak. Mungkin satu atau dua sahaja yang tak boleh digunakan.

Ibaratkanlah, seorang lelaki mahupun perempuan seperti dawai kokod. Luaran nampak semuanya sempurna. Tak ternampak dan tidak terperasan kalaupun ada ketidaksempurnaan. The law is simple, it is becaue we like what we see! Sehinggalah kita mula menggunakan dawai kokod itu tadi, baru kita tahu ianya berfungsi atau tak. Begitulah juga, bila kita mula mengenali si dia barulah kita tahu sifat dan ragam sebenar. Sekali dawai kokod tersangkut, kita masih boleh bersabar. Dua kali sangkut, "mungkin tebal sangat"..tiga kali, "arghhh..bosannya, asyik sangkut, sangkut, sangkut...!!!".

Sekali si dia buat hal, tidak mengapa, masih dalam proses mengenali hati budi kononnya. Dua kali, "Ooo..boleh tahan minah / mamat ni..". Kali ketiga, " eee..masalah betul la mamat / minah ni..". Kali keempat.., "kau ingat kau sorang je ke, ada lagi yang lebih baik dari kau la...!". Seperti yang aku sering ucapkan pada kak salmi, "setiap manusia ada tahap kesabarannya kak..."..hahaha. Ada kalanya, sesuatu itu tidak berhasil, kerana kurangnya sifat sabar dan mahu memahami. We rather blame others instead of looking for our own mistakes or weakness. Siapa mahu mengaku kekurangan dan kelemahan diri sendiri,kan??

Andainya dawai kokod tidak mengetip dengan sempurna, lihat di mana puncanya. Mungkin kertas terlalu tebal. Kalau tebal sangat, kurangkanlah..Kalau dawai kokod stuck, check dulu..mungkin ada dawai kokod lama masih tersangkut di dalam stapler. Keluarkan dulu yang lama, barulah dawai kokod yang baru boleh berfungsi tanpa sebarang masalah. Jangan terus-terusan menekan dawai kokod. Mungkin stapler ataupun kertas yang ada problem!

Sebelum mencari kelemahan orang, belek-belek kelemahan diri sendiri. Mencari cacat cela luaran mahupun dalaman orang lain, merupakan salah satu sijil tanpa tauliah. Menuding jari pada orang lain, lebih senang dari menuding ke batang hidung sendiri. Mana mungkin menerima orang baru, seandainya dalam hati masih ada nama ataupun bayangan yang lama. Mana mungkin, usaha si dia berhasil, sekiranya yang terzahir hanya kekurangan dan kelemahan. Mana mungkin semuanya berhasil, kalau mengharapkan kesempurnaan..We have our own criterias when it comes to our special someone. Sebenarnya, itu semua alasan. Kita suka beralasan dalam semua hal. I'm definitely one of those people. Alasan itulah yang menyempitkan jalan, mengelirukan keadaan dan pencarian yang tiada noktah..! How can you expect something that is so perfect, while you have so many flaws? Do not expect others to understand you, if you don't even bother to try to do the same thing. Do not put your expectations way up high, because you never know, what people would expect from you..!

Jadi, aku akan mengadaptasikan hukum dawai kokod. Cuba mengenali sebelum membuat keputusan. First impression is important but do not easily fall for it. Maybe the person was nervous, so he might be acting a bit stupid or didn't know much to say. Kadang-kadang perlu juga lihat second or third impression. Sekiranya, impression pertama dan seterusnya sama, tanyalah hati sendiri, kalau tak boleh terima, just walkaway..itu lebih bijak dari terus memaksa hati!. Cuba memahami kemahuan, kelemahan dan kekuatan diri sendiri. But the most important part is, to at least give myself and who ever he might be a chance. Tapi tunggulah aku jumpa calon dawai kokod aku dulu ya..

SanGAt BeST!!

Kau membuat, ku berantakan

Kau membuat, ku tak karuan

Kau membuat, ku tak berdaya

Kau menolak ku, acuhkan diri ku

Bagaimana, caranya untuk

Meruntuhkan kerasnya hati mu

Ku sadari, ku tak sempurna

Ku tak seperti, yang kau inginkan

Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikap mu

Tak sadarkah kau telah menyakiti ku

Lelah hati ini meyakinkan mu, cinta ini, membunuh ku....

Finally, dapat juga aku cari group yang nyanyi lagu ni.. :) Aku sangat seronok sebab sehari suntuk aku nyanyi lagu ni tapi liriknya salah..ahaha..since aku tak pandai nak upload lagu masuk dalam blog ni, korang tak dapatlah nak dengar..trust me, it is a great song!! Kenapa aku kata lagu ni best? Sebab bila aku dengar lagu ni, aku terus terduduk, terkesima..pergghh..dahsyat kan? This song is by D'masiv, a group from indonesia. Lagu-lagu dari seberang memang best. The melody and the lyrics is so simple..it melts my heart *sigh*

UntoLD sTOry

I had tough week. Time seems to stop moving. My heart aches like crazy. I've gone through this before and i just couldn't do it all over again..

Pretending to be fine is my great specialty..hahaha! Acting as if everything is ok, has becoming a lot easier. Want to know the secret? You just have to use the right emoticons! No one will notice that you are actually faking it. The power of technology has help me and others to hide our true emotions. But still, you can't lie to yourself..at the end of the day, you will feel a lot worse than you could ever imagined!

The more i tried to ignore it, the harder it gets me. I tried my hardest not to think about it, and i failed..as always! When i slowly getting my life back like it used to be, this huge mix of emotions bothered me so much and i feel like screaming my lungs out!! I'm finally free, free from everything and everyone, i just don't need this right now. Arghhh..just give me a brake..and plenty of spaces. Is it too much to ask?

I'm praying that i can be more brave and strong to face this test from ALLAH swt. Its getting tougher day by day. I'm feeling weak and i feel like i can't overcome it. I'm starting to think, i will never get my way out from all this..what can i do? What should i do?

Crying is not the best solution, but it helps! I sat at the balcony of my house, during midnight..and i cried, and cried and i thought i would never stop. The dark open sky was my witness, and maybe few mosquitos. I sat there almost an hour. Thinking and praying for all this to go away. Hoping that, tomorrow everything will be normal once again. Well has it..?

Alhamdulillah, its getting better. I keep telling myself, all this has been written in my destiny. I already accepted it, before i was born into this world. There will be an end to everything, my prayers will be answered..i believed it with all my heart. I know i'm not alone. I know my friends will help me if i let them, but i need to figure this out myself. Insya-ALLAH, i will not give up. I never give up before, and i am not planning to do so! Ya-ALLAH, please help me to get over this, please guide me so that i know what to do, give me strength..because right now, it is all that i need -amin-

p/s: for someone who would like to keep her personal feelings, personal..i failed miserably..huhu

Me..A mOTher..??

Idea untuk entry kali ini, aku dapat lewat Jun yang lalu. Pada suatu petang ketika aku baru pulang dari kerja, najwan dan najmi sudah sedia menanti di muka pintu. "Ucu, malam nanti ucu buat roti telur..". Err, was it a request or an order? Aku hanya melihat muka kedua anak itu..finally, "ucu baru balik la..penat pun tak hilang lagi!"..(err..pitch agak tinggi ketika itu..hihi).

While i was preparing the roti telur, i asked myself a question, "macam mana la kalau aku ada anak nanti?". Ya, aku belum pernah melahirkan, suatu hari mungkin (insya-ALLAH). Apakah aku akan memberi jawapan dengan nada yang sama pada anak aku nanti? Akankah aku bersabar dengan segala permintaan si anak, walau sisa kepenatan masih berbaki? Persoalan utama, dapatkah aku menjadi dan menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang ibu dengan penuh kasih sayang serta keikhlasan?

I can consider myself as lucky for being the youngest. Eventhough i don't have any younger sister or brother, i have the experienced handling kids. When nabil was born, i was so excited to have a baby in the family. I watched him growing up..until today! Proses itu sangat seronok. Dari seorang bayi yang hanya tahu menangis ketika lapar dan haus (err..nabil masih lagi begitu..uhuhu), hinggalah hari pertama persekolahan. Aku dapat lihat nabil membesar di depan mata. Aku banyak belajar cara-cara pengurusan anak kecil. Sehinggakan satu saat, aku tidak lagi kekok menukar pampers anak-anak buah. I want to have my own personal experience..with my own kid :)

Semestinya peranan ibu saudara dan ibu kandung sangatlah berbeza. Ibu saudara boleh melenting kalau anak buah buat perangai. Ibu saudara boleh ignore si anak buah seandainya mood tidak baik pada hari itu. Ibu saudara boleh piat si anak buah kalau dia sangat nakal dan tak dengar kata..(contoh-contoh yang diberikan, adalah berdasarkan pengalaman penulis..ahaha). Tetapi tergamakkah seorang ibu melenting tak tentu pasal dengan si anak, mengabaikan si anak dan meninggalkan bekas cubitan di badan anak? Aku tidak mahu menjadi seperti "ibu saudara" pada anak aku kelak. Mungkin ketika itu, orang lain pula yang pegang watak ibu saudara..tidakkkkkkk...

Alhamdulillah, we are not able to look into our future. Just thinking about it, made me scared to the bone..just imagine if i can actually see my own future! But i do hope someday in my future, i will be a wonderful, loving, caring mother. I pray that i will and i can perform my duty as a mother. Well, that is all in my future, insya-ALLAH..but right now, i'm blessed with my nephews and nieces. At least, i still have time to improve my skills to become a real mother... :)

(* roti telor siap dihidang selepas isyak..perghh..banyaknya aku fikir sambil buat roti telor..huhuhu)

-BeTTeR iN tiME-

It's been the longest winter without you

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget you

After all that we've been through

Going coming..thought I heard a knock..who's there no one

Thinking that I deserve it

Now I realise that I really didn't know

If you didn't notice..you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning..to love again

All I know is..I'm going be ok


Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

It'll all get better in time

And even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

It'll all get better in time



I couldn't turn on the TV

Without something there to remind me

Was it all that easy

To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming.. don't wanna laugh

Hurt my feelings..but that's the path, I believe in

And I know that time will heal it

If you didn't notice boy you meant everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is I'm going be ok



Since there's no more you and me

It's time I let you go, so I can be free

And live my life how it should be

No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you..yes I will

* i forgive myself for being slightly stupid, and forget you ever existed..*

oRi vs BoGuS

It's been awhile since i last updated my blog. I really miss my blog. I have so many things happening right now and i kind of stuck in it! I have so many notes to share but i don't have much time as i used to have. I only can manage my blog, once i reach home..but when i'm home, all i want to do is to have a good rest....Fortunate for you people, tonight i've decided to give you, something to read or think about..hehehe

Sri Hartamas..what is the first word that appeared in your mind, when you heard of it? Me.."jauh laaa.."and the second one.."eee..tempat orang kaya tu!". Apparently, i'm right. It is far from my home and you can see lots of rich people. Well, i don't precisely know how rich they are but, you can tell when you see the car that they are driving! Currently as most of you know, i'm working in that area. Hari-hari aku akan berjalan di tepi koridor sebuah butik handbag berjenama. Selalunya, aku tak pernah ambil tahu berapa harga seunit handbag itu. Tetapi apabila aku terpaksa menunggu teman sepejabat pada hari sabtu, aku pun mengintai ke dalam kedai. Ya, harganya melebihi gaji aku sebulan, sebelum dan selepas ditolak epf & socso!

There's nothing surprise about it,kan? With a price like that, tak semua orang mampu dan sanggup membeli handbag original. Bersyukurlah kerana banyak imitation handbag boleh didapati di pasaran dengan harga yang jauh lebih murah..hahaha. You still can be fashionable even with a fake designer handbag! Mungkin ada yang fikir, "kalau dah tak mampu nak beli yang ori, tak payah la nak melaram dengan yang tiruan!". Lantaklah kan, duit orang. Suka hati dia la ori ke tak, janji vogue!!! Do you think that designer stuff are meant only for those who made 5 figures a month? Celebrity? Royalty? Bini menteri?? I said no, no, no!! As long as you are willing to sacrifice your appetite, everyone can buy it. Kalau korang pandai & rajin berjimat cermat, kesabaran korang pasti berbaloi. Tapi macam aku, selera makan memang tak pernah putus dan tabungan adalah untuk projek yang lebih besar, sebuah beg tangan Channel yang tiruan sudah cukup untuk dibuat koleksi (tetapi beg itu sudah tiada lagi kerana telah dikebas oleh si tuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttt...). Aku mengaplikasikan pepatah, "ukur baju dibadan sendiri". Kalau susah sangat nak beli handbag Lv yang mencecah harga ribuan ringgit, beli sajalah yang tiruan. Peduli kata orang. Janji hati kita berkenan,kan?

Jangan berasa rendah diri kerana anda mempunyai koleksi handbag tiruan yang disimpan rapi mengikut warna dan jenama. Sungguhpun tiruan, anda beli dengan wang titik peluh anda sendiri. There's nothing wrong to look and feel good even with your fake Coach! Aku tak kisah membeli jenama tiruan, asalkan kualitinya bagus dan harganya mampu aku bayar. Not everyone were born as angelina jolie's daughter or siti nurhaliza's little sister! Beli apa yang termampu. Jangan terlalu ikutkan rentak orang yang berkemampuan berbelanja mewah. Janganlah pula berasa dengki melihat fazura bergaya dengan tas Lv nya keluar masuk court! Semua itu hanyalah untuk kepuasan dunia semata-mata. Bersyukurlah dengan apa yang korang ada ok!!

Working in a rich and famous environment (i'm not quite sure how accurate this statement is..) does make me feel a bit awkward. It is totally new for me. Mungkin tak semua orang yang aku nampak kaya tapi kerana persekitaran dan pergaulan, they just have to adapt and eventually, they live the life of rich and famous! I used to love watching a cooper but now, i don't even bother, unless if the driver is really cute..! I get to see mini cooper everyday..sebab ada satu cooper warna merah park betul-betul depan tangga ofis...err..and the driver is not cute..ahaha. Walaupun aku dapat tengok bag Lv, Channel, Coach hari-hari, tapi tak timbul pula niat aku nak beli satu yang betul-betul ori. Asalkan cantik, harga rm10 pun orang boleh kagum. Ya, itulah prinsip aku..

To me, the most important thing is to have original personality, original family and original friends. Because our inner heart, family & friends could never be imitate by anyone! :)