Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Me..A mOTher..??

Idea untuk entry kali ini, aku dapat lewat Jun yang lalu. Pada suatu petang ketika aku baru pulang dari kerja, najwan dan najmi sudah sedia menanti di muka pintu. "Ucu, malam nanti ucu buat roti telur..". Err, was it a request or an order? Aku hanya melihat muka kedua anak itu..finally, "ucu baru balik la..penat pun tak hilang lagi!"..(err..pitch agak tinggi ketika itu..hihi).

While i was preparing the roti telur, i asked myself a question, "macam mana la kalau aku ada anak nanti?". Ya, aku belum pernah melahirkan, suatu hari mungkin (insya-ALLAH). Apakah aku akan memberi jawapan dengan nada yang sama pada anak aku nanti? Akankah aku bersabar dengan segala permintaan si anak, walau sisa kepenatan masih berbaki? Persoalan utama, dapatkah aku menjadi dan menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang ibu dengan penuh kasih sayang serta keikhlasan?


I can consider myself as lucky for being the youngest. Eventhough i don't have any younger sister or brother, i have the experienced handling kids. When nabil was born, i was so excited to have a baby in the family. I watched him growing up..until today! Proses itu sangat seronok. Dari seorang bayi yang hanya tahu menangis ketika lapar dan haus (err..nabil masih lagi begitu..uhuhu), hinggalah hari pertama persekolahan. Aku dapat lihat nabil membesar di depan mata. Aku banyak belajar cara-cara pengurusan anak kecil. Sehinggakan satu saat, aku tidak lagi kekok menukar pampers anak-anak buah. I want to have my own personal experience..with my own kid :)

Semestinya peranan ibu saudara dan ibu kandung sangatlah berbeza. Ibu saudara boleh melenting kalau anak buah buat perangai. Ibu saudara boleh ignore si anak buah seandainya mood tidak baik pada hari itu. Ibu saudara boleh piat si anak buah kalau dia sangat nakal dan tak dengar kata..(contoh-contoh yang diberikan, adalah berdasarkan pengalaman penulis..ahaha). Tetapi tergamakkah seorang ibu melenting tak tentu pasal dengan si anak, mengabaikan si anak dan meninggalkan bekas cubitan di badan anak? Aku tidak mahu menjadi seperti "ibu saudara" pada anak aku kelak. Mungkin ketika itu, orang lain pula yang pegang watak ibu saudara..tidakkkkkkk...

Alhamdulillah, we are not able to look into our future. Just thinking about it, made me scared to the bone..just imagine if i can actually see my own future! But i do hope someday in my future, i will be a wonderful, loving, caring mother. I pray that i will and i can perform my duty as a mother. Well, that is all in my future, insya-ALLAH..but right now, i'm blessed with my nephews and nieces. At least, i still have time to improve my skills to become a real mother... :)

(* roti telor siap dihidang selepas isyak..perghh..banyaknya aku fikir sambil buat roti telor..huhuhu)



Tuesday, July 15, 2008

-BeTTeR iN tiME-



It's been the longest winter without you

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget you

After all that we've been through

Going coming..thought I heard a knock..who's there no one

Thinking that I deserve it

Now I realise that I really didn't know

If you didn't notice..you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning..to love again

All I know is..I'm going be ok


Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

It'll all get better in time

And even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

It'll all get better in time



I couldn't turn on the TV

Without something there to remind me

Was it all that easy

To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming.. don't wanna laugh

Hurt my feelings..but that's the path, I believe in

And I know that time will heal it

If you didn't notice boy you meant everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is I'm going be ok



Since there's no more you and me

It's time I let you go, so I can be free

And live my life how it should be

No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you..yes I will

* i forgive myself for being slightly stupid, and forget you ever existed..*