Aku mahu menutup entri bagi 2010 4 hari awal berbanding tahun sudah. Jika tahun lalu, entrinya agak dramatik tetapi tidak kali ini, ianya lebih tersusun dan straight forward..sort of..hehe..
Januari
- Walaupun aku sangat bersemangat untuk memulakan lembaran baru di tahun baru, ada sedikit konflik dalaman..tetapi tidak serius dan Alhamdulillah segalanya berjalan lancar. Setahun di GOC ini, macam-macam pengalaman kerja dan hidup aku dapat. Yang elok aku guna pakai, yang tak, campak je ke longkang..huh! Mendapat jemputan ke dinner subsidiary di Penang..sangat seronok tapi poket kosong sebab gaji belum masuk time tu..huhuhu..and yes, I bought my first ever mascara..hahaha..sempat la pakai 5 kali (kot) before aku bagi Kak Ainil..no use to me la..haha
Februari
- Alhamdulillah, berjaya menyudahkan entri ke 100..(syabas NurulHuda..well done!!). My 2 bffs got enganged selang sehari and a dear friend of mine kahwin..congrates to all of them. Kerja-kerja office semakin banyak dan rumours on new boss semakin hangat..in the end, dapatlah bos aku yang sekarang ni, yang tak sudah-sudah mendapat komen negatif sana sini..aku..er no komen!
Mac
- Aku nekad "keluar" dari team badminton..hahaha..tak sanggup la main under pressure. Besides, badminton is not my strength, main untuk suka-suka dan pecah peluh..bukan nak dapat piala segala..hahaha..Bermula Mac, aku semakin rancak buat o.t..semakin terasa bebanan kerja but still under control..huhu..dan ya, bermulalah ujian part 01.
April
- Officially shifted to the new office. Malasnya mahu keluar dari sana..keamanan itu sudah hilang..apatah lagi ujian part 02 mula mengasak..haish! First outing dengan the ladies and for the first time, I made a meal whereby everyone can actually eat!hahahaha...it was a success and the gathering was great. April sinonim dengan insan ini..4 tahun arwah Abang Mie pergi.........
May
- Desperately need to get awayyyyyyyyyy from the office kerana rasa lama sangat terperap depan pc menyiapkan kerja yang selamanya tak habis! My baby niece Aqilah was born a day after her mother's birthday..sweet, kan? and my bff's wedding..considered that as our 2nd gathering for this year.
Jun
- Minor accident before I went back to Kedah. Nasib baby ku tak cedera. First office outing, bowling di Alamanda, berjaya mendapat tempat ke-5 dan award kumpulan paling havoc..yiehaaaaa!!..5 years and I still miss my arwah nenek...
Julai
- My 28th birthday. Got few presents..bought one for myself..hehe..First ever try main pingpong for inter department (double)..yeay..dapat no 2..haha..and I felt slightly frustrated over something and someone..
Ogos
- Ramadhan datang lagi..sekadar memenuhi undangan majlis berbuka puasa sana sini.
September
- Ujian part 03.. quite tough but got through it as always..Alhamdulillah..Outing with the ladies sempena my bff punya big day.
Oktober
- My bff's wedding..another gathering for us all. Ujian part 04..haha..Bulan yang paling busy sebab every weekend ada aktiviti. One of it was Sports Carnival..aku terpaksa masuk futsal..but in the end, dalam terpaksa main, dapat juga no 2..lalalala...
November
- My baby telah dicederakan oleh manusia keparat!!! Kasut sukan kesayangan dicurinya..kau tak senang dunia akhirat tau!!!!!!! and volleyball inter department began...
Disember
- Got 3rd place for volleyball..impressive kan..haha..mula menggilai lagu-lagu Kpop yang dah dikenali orang bertahun lamanya..hahahahah..sampai ada yang bersuara, "mana peginye nurulhuda yang layan lagu search, awie..."hahaha..sesekali kita kena layan something yang fresh..lantaklah irama itu dah lama didengar orang, pada aku, ianya something yang baru and paling penting, ianya penghibur dikala lara..hahaha..and I just got back from a family vacation. Back to work, back to my daily routines. Back to life..i guess!
Alhamdulillah...dipenghujung 2010, aku masih waras dalam setiap perlakuan, percakapan dan yang penting pemikiran. Aku bersyukur atas apa yang telah dan bakal berlaku dalam sisa-sisa 2010..kerana perjalanan hidup aku telah ditentukan olehNYA..dan aku hanya menjalaninya dengan bimbingan dan lindungan dariNYA, insyaAllah.........
Monday, December 27, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
19.11.2010
Semalam Aidiladha..semalam juga, aku teringat peristiwa korban aku 5 tahun yang lalu. Alhamdulillah, ada hikmah tersirat dan mungkin tersurat.
Hari ini, aku ke office seperti biasa, tapi ada satu perasaan yang kurang enak setelah beberapa sesi sembang santai di yahoo. Terasa ingin menjerit sekuat hati. Sisa sesal masih berbaki hingga ke detik ini. You'd never learn, kan NurulHuda?...guess not..arghhhh!!!!! So, jom nyanyi...
Everyday I wake up to another day gone by
Nothing but the open road and never-ending why
Anything can happen, but nothing ever does
I try to change, it's kinda strange
The same as it ever was, but look at us..
How do I deal with you?
How do I deal with me?
When I don't even know myself
Or what it is you want from me
How do I deal with us?
How do I know what's real?
When I don't even trust myself
Or what it is I feel..and how do I deal?
Every night in the dark, I lie awake in bed
How am I supposed to dream, with all the static in my head
I turn to all directons and pray for some relief
What can I do but feel the weight
I am underneath and greet my teeth
......How do I deal with love?
Why do I have to choose?
And everybody's telling me
What the hell I have to do....
~~I should know damn well what I really want..~~
Hari ini, aku ke office seperti biasa, tapi ada satu perasaan yang kurang enak setelah beberapa sesi sembang santai di yahoo. Terasa ingin menjerit sekuat hati. Sisa sesal masih berbaki hingga ke detik ini. You'd never learn, kan NurulHuda?...guess not..arghhhh!!!!! So, jom nyanyi...
Everyday I wake up to another day gone by
Nothing but the open road and never-ending why
Anything can happen, but nothing ever does
I try to change, it's kinda strange
The same as it ever was, but look at us..
How do I deal with you?
How do I deal with me?
When I don't even know myself
Or what it is you want from me
How do I deal with us?
How do I know what's real?
When I don't even trust myself
Or what it is I feel..and how do I deal?
Every night in the dark, I lie awake in bed
How am I supposed to dream, with all the static in my head
I turn to all directons and pray for some relief
What can I do but feel the weight
I am underneath and greet my teeth
......How do I deal with love?
Why do I have to choose?
And everybody's telling me
What the hell I have to do....
~~I should know damn well what I really want..~~
Thursday, October 28, 2010
y.o.U LisTeN..!!(part 03)
Did you know that..I hate to be in this situation?
Did you know that..you are not making any sense at all?
Did you know that..you never try to understand me?
Did you know that..you took me for granted?
Did you know that..I care for you?
Did you know that..you make me smile?
Did you know that..I never give up on you?
Did you know that..you are impossible?
Did you know that..I can be happy just by thinking of you?
Did you know that..you have changed my life?
Did you know that..my heart belongs to you and only you..
..but I guess, you will never know that.
Did you know that..you are not making any sense at all?
Did you know that..you never try to understand me?
Did you know that..you took me for granted?
Did you know that..I care for you?
Did you know that..you make me smile?
Did you know that..I never give up on you?
Did you know that..you are impossible?
Did you know that..I can be happy just by thinking of you?
Did you know that..you have changed my life?
Did you know that..my heart belongs to you and only you..
..but I guess, you will never know that.
Friday, October 22, 2010
tHe eNd
Aku ingin melupakan insiden itu. Aku ingin mengeluarkannya dari kotak fikiran. Aku ingin terus move on.
Ianya terjadi pada tarikh yang mungkin significant pada segelintir orang tetapi tidak aku. Peristiwa yang berlaku secara kebetulan dan semestinya terjadi kerana ketentuan ALLAH swt.
Entah dari mana datangnya kata-kata itu. Lancar dan penuh kesungguhan pada setiap baris ayat. Yang pasti, bukan aku yang memulakan bicara. Aku sudah mahu melangkah pergi, bila....
Aku renung sambil mendengar. Aku memberi pandangan walaupun mungkin tidak diterima. Aku turut berkongsi cerita kerana aku tidak mahu canggung di situ..tetapi dia menguasai situasi itu.
Penghujung cerita, aku masih tidak percaya, itu semua sudah berlaku. Kesemuanya. Aku. Dia. Kisah-kisahnya. Setiap langkah, hati tidak pernah mahu berhenti bertanya, "kenapa tiba-tiba? kenapa aku?"..setiap langkah juga, aku gagal mencari rasionalnya.
Mungkin lebih elok kalau aku tidak tahu apa sebabnya. Mungkin lebih senang begitu. Mungkin ianya ujian dan mungkin juga, aku lulus kali ini. Alhamdulillah.
Yang pasti, kisah ini sudah berakhir. It was not a perfect ending but I am grateful, that finally I can really close this chapter and keep moving on.
Ianya terjadi pada tarikh yang mungkin significant pada segelintir orang tetapi tidak aku. Peristiwa yang berlaku secara kebetulan dan semestinya terjadi kerana ketentuan ALLAH swt.
Entah dari mana datangnya kata-kata itu. Lancar dan penuh kesungguhan pada setiap baris ayat. Yang pasti, bukan aku yang memulakan bicara. Aku sudah mahu melangkah pergi, bila....
Aku renung sambil mendengar. Aku memberi pandangan walaupun mungkin tidak diterima. Aku turut berkongsi cerita kerana aku tidak mahu canggung di situ..tetapi dia menguasai situasi itu.
Penghujung cerita, aku masih tidak percaya, itu semua sudah berlaku. Kesemuanya. Aku. Dia. Kisah-kisahnya. Setiap langkah, hati tidak pernah mahu berhenti bertanya, "kenapa tiba-tiba? kenapa aku?"..setiap langkah juga, aku gagal mencari rasionalnya.
Mungkin lebih elok kalau aku tidak tahu apa sebabnya. Mungkin lebih senang begitu. Mungkin ianya ujian dan mungkin juga, aku lulus kali ini. Alhamdulillah.
Yang pasti, kisah ini sudah berakhir. It was not a perfect ending but I am grateful, that finally I can really close this chapter and keep moving on.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
RinDu
Hari ini, sudah masuk hari ke-empat aku tidak bertemu kamu. Kamu di mana?
Setiap kali aku mengintai dari tingkap, kelibat kamu tidak kelihatan. Puas aku mencari, tapi kamu tiada di situ.
Kamu tidak tahu, selama ini, aku sering memerhatikan kamu. Untuk mendekati kamu, mungkin aku tidak layak. Cukuplah aku lihat kamu dari kejauhan.
Melihat kamu, aku bisa tersenyum. Kehadiran kamu, menggembirakan aku. Hanya kamu yang paling hampir di hati aku. Ada yang cuba mencuri perhatian, tapi kamu kekal teratas.
Mungkin esok, kamu masih tiada. Tiadalah juga senyum aku tatkala menuruni tangga-tangga itu. Semoga semuanya selamat..wahai si Cooper berwarna merah yang comel :)
Setiap kali aku mengintai dari tingkap, kelibat kamu tidak kelihatan. Puas aku mencari, tapi kamu tiada di situ.
Kamu tidak tahu, selama ini, aku sering memerhatikan kamu. Untuk mendekati kamu, mungkin aku tidak layak. Cukuplah aku lihat kamu dari kejauhan.
Melihat kamu, aku bisa tersenyum. Kehadiran kamu, menggembirakan aku. Hanya kamu yang paling hampir di hati aku. Ada yang cuba mencuri perhatian, tapi kamu kekal teratas.
Mungkin esok, kamu masih tiada. Tiadalah juga senyum aku tatkala menuruni tangga-tangga itu. Semoga semuanya selamat..wahai si Cooper berwarna merah yang comel :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
"Jemput datang ya.."
Seawal pagi semalam, aku telah mendapat satu lagi undangan walimatul urus seorang teman lama secara tidak rasmi. Alhamdulillah seorang lagi teman bakal bergelar isteri. Semoga dia bahagia insyaAllah.
Aku sekadar ingin berkongsi perihal jemputan ke majlis-majlis, tidak kiralah majlis apa sekalipun. Aku bukan nak bercerita tentang majlis kahwin aku..haha..Sejujurnya, aku kurang berminat menghadiri sebarang majlis, apatah lagi kenduri kahwin. Ada yang bertanya kenapa. Belum sempat aku menjawab, si polan pantas berkata, "hah..ni mesti sebab akak belum kawen kan..". Er, kenapalah ke situ pula wahai si polan oiii..Untuk pengetahuan, aku memang tak suka ke majlis kahwin semenjak kanak-kanak lagi. Pada aku, tiada apa yang seronok dan majlis itu sangat membosankan. Aku dipaksa memakai baju kurung dan terpaksa menunggu orang tua habis bersembang baru boleh pulang. Itu belum kira hendak tunggu pengantin diarak..aduhai..bosan sungguh rasanya!
Menginjak usia, aku masih kurang gemar ke majlis-majlis. Mungkin kerana aku kurang gemar menghadiri majlis-majlis ini sendirian. Bila diingat-ingatkan, aku lebih banyak menemani emak ke majlis-majlis daripada memenuhi undangan untuk diri sendiri. Dulu emak tak komen apa-apa bila tengok aku menolak undangan..tapi sekarang, "awak ni..orang dah jemput, tak nak pegi pulak..bila orang dah jemput, kita wajib pegi tau..kalau tak tu dah kire dosa.."..Nah, straight to the point kan? Bukanlah aku tak pernah langsung ke majlis yang dijemput. Alhamdulillah, setakat ini, undangan kahwin teman-teman banyak juga yang aku pergi. Memang ramai teman yang mengundang, tapi aku lebih senang ke majlis teman-teman rapat sahaja.
Situasi ini masih berlanjutan hingga ke hari ini. Emak masih setia mengucapkan kata-kata keramatnya setiap kali lihat aku acuh tak acuh menerima undangan. Kadang-kadang mood ceria aku boleh hilang hanya dengan sebaris ayat, "nanti kita pergi kenduri.....". Emak sedia maklum yang aku memang tak suka, tapi dia juga tahu, akhirannya, aku tetap akan pergi.
Kesimpulannya, sebelum 2010 berakhir, aku yakin banyak jemputan yang harus dipenuhi. Setiap kali itu jugalah, aku akan berkira-kira mahu pergi atau tidak. Apa jua alasan, aku pasti tidak dapat mengelak lagi dek kerana statement sentap emak tersayang..waaa..
Aku sekadar ingin berkongsi perihal jemputan ke majlis-majlis, tidak kiralah majlis apa sekalipun. Aku bukan nak bercerita tentang majlis kahwin aku..haha..Sejujurnya, aku kurang berminat menghadiri sebarang majlis, apatah lagi kenduri kahwin. Ada yang bertanya kenapa. Belum sempat aku menjawab, si polan pantas berkata, "hah..ni mesti sebab akak belum kawen kan..". Er, kenapalah ke situ pula wahai si polan oiii..Untuk pengetahuan, aku memang tak suka ke majlis kahwin semenjak kanak-kanak lagi. Pada aku, tiada apa yang seronok dan majlis itu sangat membosankan. Aku dipaksa memakai baju kurung dan terpaksa menunggu orang tua habis bersembang baru boleh pulang. Itu belum kira hendak tunggu pengantin diarak..aduhai..bosan sungguh rasanya!
Menginjak usia, aku masih kurang gemar ke majlis-majlis. Mungkin kerana aku kurang gemar menghadiri majlis-majlis ini sendirian. Bila diingat-ingatkan, aku lebih banyak menemani emak ke majlis-majlis daripada memenuhi undangan untuk diri sendiri. Dulu emak tak komen apa-apa bila tengok aku menolak undangan..tapi sekarang, "awak ni..orang dah jemput, tak nak pegi pulak..bila orang dah jemput, kita wajib pegi tau..kalau tak tu dah kire dosa.."..Nah, straight to the point kan? Bukanlah aku tak pernah langsung ke majlis yang dijemput. Alhamdulillah, setakat ini, undangan kahwin teman-teman banyak juga yang aku pergi. Memang ramai teman yang mengundang, tapi aku lebih senang ke majlis teman-teman rapat sahaja.
Situasi ini masih berlanjutan hingga ke hari ini. Emak masih setia mengucapkan kata-kata keramatnya setiap kali lihat aku acuh tak acuh menerima undangan. Kadang-kadang mood ceria aku boleh hilang hanya dengan sebaris ayat, "nanti kita pergi kenduri.....". Emak sedia maklum yang aku memang tak suka, tapi dia juga tahu, akhirannya, aku tetap akan pergi.
Kesimpulannya, sebelum 2010 berakhir, aku yakin banyak jemputan yang harus dipenuhi. Setiap kali itu jugalah, aku akan berkira-kira mahu pergi atau tidak. Apa jua alasan, aku pasti tidak dapat mengelak lagi dek kerana statement sentap emak tersayang..waaa..
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
y.o.u..LiSTen (part 02)
Sayang..
Ku bawa jauh rinduku
Kerna aku telah tahu
Kau bukan milikku
Sayang..
Sesungguhnya bukan mudah
Menjalani hidup ini
Tanpa kau di sisi
Jauh di sudut hati
Aku masih bermimpi
Mimpi yang indah
Esok kau kembali
Jauh di sudut hati
Ada waktu-waktunya
Aku berdoa, kau pulang semula
Sayang..
Biar ku mengingati mu
Biar ku gantung harapan
Hingga sampai waktu
Nafas terakhirku...
~mungkin rindu dan harapan aku terhadap kamu, cukup hanya setakat ini~
Ku bawa jauh rinduku
Kerna aku telah tahu
Kau bukan milikku
Sayang..
Sesungguhnya bukan mudah
Menjalani hidup ini
Tanpa kau di sisi
Jauh di sudut hati
Aku masih bermimpi
Mimpi yang indah
Esok kau kembali
Jauh di sudut hati
Ada waktu-waktunya
Aku berdoa, kau pulang semula
Sayang..
Biar ku mengingati mu
Biar ku gantung harapan
Hingga sampai waktu
Nafas terakhirku...
~mungkin rindu dan harapan aku terhadap kamu, cukup hanya setakat ini~
Friday, September 24, 2010
y.o.u..LiStEn! (part 01)
We have made a deal, remember?
You promised to respect my decision, remember?
We argued on this over and over again, remember?
You said, it is my decision and you will not intefere, remember?
You said, you will understand. You said, I know what's best. Well, you said a lot of things..blablabla....the most important thing above all, you said, you will not give up on me, remember?
I know that you know me well..in fact, better than everyone else. I know you are always by my side, no matter what. Please believe me when I said, I need you to always be there for me. Do not try to hide, or worst dissapear. You are my companion. You are my voice. You are my friend that I dare not to lose.
Yes, I admit, my faith in you has faded since the last time we talked. You should have not lied to me. But can I blame you? I did force you to speak. I did that because I know you can be trusted. You are the only I had then. Fortunately, I still have you now.
I love you, you know that, right? You are lucky in certain ways. You do not get to see the faces, to read the writings, listening to all the b.s they were saying. It is I who needs to go through all that. However, it is you who need to do all the damage control. For that, I am seeking for your forgiveness.
We are a perfect combination..you and I. Therefore, you can just shut up from asking me all sort of questions, that you already know the answers. Just go with flow, ok! Stop trying to talk myself out of it. Stop trying to feel that you are not making any sense at all..cause most of the time you do..well, I think so...
You have to be strong for me. You have to remind me that I have been through worst situation. You must always talk to me..cry for me if you must..because nowadays, I can't seem to cry. It will take some time for you to regain my trust..but I guess it doesn't matter..as long as I know, you are there..you still are,right?
You promised to respect my decision, remember?
We argued on this over and over again, remember?
You said, it is my decision and you will not intefere, remember?
You said, you will understand. You said, I know what's best. Well, you said a lot of things..blablabla....the most important thing above all, you said, you will not give up on me, remember?
I know that you know me well..in fact, better than everyone else. I know you are always by my side, no matter what. Please believe me when I said, I need you to always be there for me. Do not try to hide, or worst dissapear. You are my companion. You are my voice. You are my friend that I dare not to lose.
Yes, I admit, my faith in you has faded since the last time we talked. You should have not lied to me. But can I blame you? I did force you to speak. I did that because I know you can be trusted. You are the only I had then. Fortunately, I still have you now.
I love you, you know that, right? You are lucky in certain ways. You do not get to see the faces, to read the writings, listening to all the b.s they were saying. It is I who needs to go through all that. However, it is you who need to do all the damage control. For that, I am seeking for your forgiveness.
We are a perfect combination..you and I. Therefore, you can just shut up from asking me all sort of questions, that you already know the answers. Just go with flow, ok! Stop trying to talk myself out of it. Stop trying to feel that you are not making any sense at all..cause most of the time you do..well, I think so...
You have to be strong for me. You have to remind me that I have been through worst situation. You must always talk to me..cry for me if you must..because nowadays, I can't seem to cry. It will take some time for you to regain my trust..but I guess it doesn't matter..as long as I know, you are there..you still are,right?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
JangAn BerSEdiH LaGi
Kekasihku..jangan bersedih lagi
Keringkanlah titisan airmata di pipi
Kekasihku..tabahkan hati mu
Sekalipun tak pernah terduga..halangan yang melanda
Melenyapkan impian bersama
Jangan dikesali atas apa yang terjadi
Mungkin rahmat, sebaliknya..membuahkan bahagia
Kekasihku..aku tahu
Kita sama saling percaya
Tidak pernah ada dusta..kasih antara kita
Jangan berduka..jangan berdendam pada sesiapa
Bersabarlah menerima..segala-galanya dengan redha
....mungkin suatu hari nanti
kita akan bersama lagi
aku masih mengharap..segalanya kan berulang semula...
~~dedicated specially for you~~
Keringkanlah titisan airmata di pipi
Kekasihku..tabahkan hati mu
Sekalipun tak pernah terduga..halangan yang melanda
Melenyapkan impian bersama
Jangan dikesali atas apa yang terjadi
Mungkin rahmat, sebaliknya..membuahkan bahagia
Kekasihku..aku tahu
Kita sama saling percaya
Tidak pernah ada dusta..kasih antara kita
Jangan berduka..jangan berdendam pada sesiapa
Bersabarlah menerima..segala-galanya dengan redha
....mungkin suatu hari nanti
kita akan bersama lagi
aku masih mengharap..segalanya kan berulang semula...
~~dedicated specially for you~~
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
L.i.F.E
Live life to the fullest..cause life is short!
I believe we have to have all these, to understand the true meaning behind the word of wisdom.
Iman: Life will be worthless without it! Life is short, you'll never know when you are going to die. Iman will help you focus, it will lead you to the right path. You would be a better person and insyaAllah, your life will so much worth it. Besides you are the khalifah. You have duties to perform..fulfill this and you will have a greater life on the other side, insyaAllah.
Courage: It is not something that we could get elsewhere..it is within you. Only you could reach it. You need courage to live you life. Life is tough. Life can be such a mess. People will bring you down in so many different ways that they could think of. You need to be brave..cause there is always a chance, you are alone to fight your own battle. The rest do not bother to back you up, cause they have their own problem, their own mess..their own battle.
Mistakes: Make one or even more..if that is what it takes to learn. You will have regret over all the mistakes that you made..all the bad choices. Life is like that..how on earth are you going to learn and to grow if you refused to make mistakes. It is not advisable and it is not suppose to be a habit..but just accept the fact..mistakes happened. You made a mistake. You made an unforgettable choice. Learn from it..but do not make it an excuse to keep on making the wrong decision..you have choices. You can either choose to learn or keep on making mistakes and live on hearing that loud voice in your head, "stupid, stupid, stupid me!!".
Love: Is the key to happiness. You have to search for it. Give some of your love to earn some from others. Love yourself in order for you to love the people around you. Love is not only between a man and a woman. Love is about everything and everyone. Do not shut yourself to receive or give a piece of it to others. You will find yourself alone..be close to your family, appreciate your friendship and be faithful to your significant other..I believe these are some tips for all of us to cherish all the people that matters in our lives.
Friends: They are your second family. Choose your friends wisely and carefully. Friends define who you are and what type of person are you. Respect them just the same way you want to be respected. Accept their flaws, appreciate their beauty and be impressed by their creativity. Maintain a good friendship..by doing so you know, you will never be alone. Be supportive and if there is a need to critize..be gentle yet be firm. Let them know, you'll always be around for them. Wish them well and do not be jealous of their success. Be the best friend you can be and hope nothing in return.
You need to look around you and be grateful for everything you have. Life is all about moving forward. It's ok if you do not know where you are heading cause life is like that. ALLAH has the best plan for you..never doubt that. Life is short..its best if we could live it while we still can and be wise on how are we going to spend the rest of it.
I believe we have to have all these, to understand the true meaning behind the word of wisdom.
Iman: Life will be worthless without it! Life is short, you'll never know when you are going to die. Iman will help you focus, it will lead you to the right path. You would be a better person and insyaAllah, your life will so much worth it. Besides you are the khalifah. You have duties to perform..fulfill this and you will have a greater life on the other side, insyaAllah.
Courage: It is not something that we could get elsewhere..it is within you. Only you could reach it. You need courage to live you life. Life is tough. Life can be such a mess. People will bring you down in so many different ways that they could think of. You need to be brave..cause there is always a chance, you are alone to fight your own battle. The rest do not bother to back you up, cause they have their own problem, their own mess..their own battle.
Mistakes: Make one or even more..if that is what it takes to learn. You will have regret over all the mistakes that you made..all the bad choices. Life is like that..how on earth are you going to learn and to grow if you refused to make mistakes. It is not advisable and it is not suppose to be a habit..but just accept the fact..mistakes happened. You made a mistake. You made an unforgettable choice. Learn from it..but do not make it an excuse to keep on making the wrong decision..you have choices. You can either choose to learn or keep on making mistakes and live on hearing that loud voice in your head, "stupid, stupid, stupid me!!".
Love: Is the key to happiness. You have to search for it. Give some of your love to earn some from others. Love yourself in order for you to love the people around you. Love is not only between a man and a woman. Love is about everything and everyone. Do not shut yourself to receive or give a piece of it to others. You will find yourself alone..be close to your family, appreciate your friendship and be faithful to your significant other..I believe these are some tips for all of us to cherish all the people that matters in our lives.
Friends: They are your second family. Choose your friends wisely and carefully. Friends define who you are and what type of person are you. Respect them just the same way you want to be respected. Accept their flaws, appreciate their beauty and be impressed by their creativity. Maintain a good friendship..by doing so you know, you will never be alone. Be supportive and if there is a need to critize..be gentle yet be firm. Let them know, you'll always be around for them. Wish them well and do not be jealous of their success. Be the best friend you can be and hope nothing in return.
You need to look around you and be grateful for everything you have. Life is all about moving forward. It's ok if you do not know where you are heading cause life is like that. ALLAH has the best plan for you..never doubt that. Life is short..its best if we could live it while we still can and be wise on how are we going to spend the rest of it.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
H.u.H!
Time: 11.05 a.m
Date: 12.08.2010
Venue: The receptionist desk
Mood: Boringgggggggggg!!!!!!!!
Kelakar la..wajar ke, administrator department lain yang kena replace receptionist while she is away? Wajar ke? Tak!! Apa guna ada Unit Pengurusan Sumber Manusia kalau unit lain yang kena buat kerja mereka? Oh ya, bak kata sahabat saya, "hr kan senior exec.."..huh, senior exec my foot la!
Wajar juga ke kalau, mereka mahu rotate kami (para administrator) untuk ganti tempat recept ini, seandainya si recept bercuti? What kind of system is that??Hmm..yes, we call it system that is full with b.s!
Walaupun kerja-kerja aku tak sebeban kerja-kerja pengurus-pengurus besar kat sini, tapi still kerja aku tak siapa yang boleh tolong cover. Kerja bos aku pun dah sedia membukit. Mungkin kami hanya administrator, jadi kami memang layak dipusing-pusingkan sesuka hati.
They should have a better solution than this. Pengurusan Sumber Manusia konon..ni namanya, Pengurusan Penindasan Sumber-sumber Manusia yang ada..huh!
Date: 12.08.2010
Venue: The receptionist desk
Mood: Boringgggggggggg!!!!!!!!
Kelakar la..wajar ke, administrator department lain yang kena replace receptionist while she is away? Wajar ke? Tak!! Apa guna ada Unit Pengurusan Sumber Manusia kalau unit lain yang kena buat kerja mereka? Oh ya, bak kata sahabat saya, "hr kan senior exec.."..huh, senior exec my foot la!
Wajar juga ke kalau, mereka mahu rotate kami (para administrator) untuk ganti tempat recept ini, seandainya si recept bercuti? What kind of system is that??Hmm..yes, we call it system that is full with b.s!
Walaupun kerja-kerja aku tak sebeban kerja-kerja pengurus-pengurus besar kat sini, tapi still kerja aku tak siapa yang boleh tolong cover. Kerja bos aku pun dah sedia membukit. Mungkin kami hanya administrator, jadi kami memang layak dipusing-pusingkan sesuka hati.
They should have a better solution than this. Pengurusan Sumber Manusia konon..ni namanya, Pengurusan Penindasan Sumber-sumber Manusia yang ada..huh!
Friday, August 6, 2010
I aM..
I am thrilled to do this one..I am excited coz finally.. I've got it!
Recently, I watched a movie and I think it was the closest thing to my heart after "U've Got Mail". It was a brilliant movie..light, funny but most importantly, it helps to get my feet on the ground.
It was released I think, a year or two years back. Sebenarnya, mesej filem itu, kita semua sedia maklum..ladies la..tapi kita (mungkin tak semua) choose to be ignorant..I know I do..hahaha..It is all about the sign. We feed ourselves with all the positive notes when it comes to the sign..we wanted to believe things that are not there. In the end..we get nothing from it!
Filem itu mengajar aku tentang satu fakta yang sangat obvious. Percayalah kalau aku cakap, bermula dari hari aku nonton filem itu dan mungkin juga selamanya, aku akan hanya percaya pada fakta itu sahaja. Kenapalah selama ini, aku tak nampak semua itu?? Mungkin aku tahu, tapi buat-buat tak tahu kot,kan?
Hidup aku semakin clear sekarang....hanya dengan sebaris ayat!
So, are you the rule or the exception?
p/s: do u know which movie I am talking about? hehe... :)
Recently, I watched a movie and I think it was the closest thing to my heart after "U've Got Mail". It was a brilliant movie..light, funny but most importantly, it helps to get my feet on the ground.
It was released I think, a year or two years back. Sebenarnya, mesej filem itu, kita semua sedia maklum..ladies la..tapi kita (mungkin tak semua) choose to be ignorant..I know I do..hahaha..It is all about the sign. We feed ourselves with all the positive notes when it comes to the sign..we wanted to believe things that are not there. In the end..we get nothing from it!
Filem itu mengajar aku tentang satu fakta yang sangat obvious. Percayalah kalau aku cakap, bermula dari hari aku nonton filem itu dan mungkin juga selamanya, aku akan hanya percaya pada fakta itu sahaja. Kenapalah selama ini, aku tak nampak semua itu?? Mungkin aku tahu, tapi buat-buat tak tahu kot,kan?
Hidup aku semakin clear sekarang....hanya dengan sebaris ayat!
So, are you the rule or the exception?
p/s: do u know which movie I am talking about? hehe... :)
Friday, July 30, 2010
UsEd tO
You used to talk to me like..I was the only one around
You used to lean on me like..the only other choice was falling down
You used to walk with me like..we had nowhere we needed to go
Nice and slow..to no place in particular
We used to have this figured out..we used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear..you were the first star that I'd see
We used to have this under control..we never thought, we used to know
At least there's you..and at least there's me
Can we get this back..can we get this back, to how it used to be
I used to reach for you when..I got lost along the way
I used to listen..you always had just the right thing to say
I used to follow you..never really cared where we would go
Fast or slow..to anywhere at all
I look around me..and I want you to be there
Cause I miss the things that we shared
Look around you..it's empy and you're sad
Cause you miss the love that we had
You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around
The only one around...
You used to lean on me like..the only other choice was falling down
You used to walk with me like..we had nowhere we needed to go
Nice and slow..to no place in particular
We used to have this figured out..we used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear..you were the first star that I'd see
We used to have this under control..we never thought, we used to know
At least there's you..and at least there's me
Can we get this back..can we get this back, to how it used to be
I used to reach for you when..I got lost along the way
I used to listen..you always had just the right thing to say
I used to follow you..never really cared where we would go
Fast or slow..to anywhere at all
I look around me..and I want you to be there
Cause I miss the things that we shared
Look around you..it's empy and you're sad
Cause you miss the love that we had
You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around
The only one around...
Monday, July 12, 2010
WhaTevER u saY..wHAtEveR u dO
The truth will set you free..but sometimes, I rather not knowing anything at all.
Kita diasuh bercakap benar kerana itu antara nilai murni dalam kehidupan. Cuma, apabila kita semakin celik meniti hidup, kita belajar untuk menipu. Tiada sesiapa yang menurunkan ilmu..mungkin ianya kepandaian semulajadi..masuk akal ke?
Aku nak cakap pasal apa sebenarnya ni?.........................??
Bila orang bercakap tentang itu dan ini..aku tahu, semuanya fakta. Kalau pun ada ramuan tambahan, aku percaya saja sebab aku ni lurus bendul orangnya! Tapi kebenaran yang terlalu telus (kononnya) boleh buat aku jelik. Sampai aku tak tahu nak bezakan, fakta itu sememangnya fakta atau auta saja lebih. Dek kerana itu, aku "wah..!!" kan jugalah. Hakikatnya, "aku peduli apa..".
Can't you just keep the facts to yourself? Not everyone wants to know every single details about this and that. Ya la..tak semua orang macam kau NurulHuda..ya, tau..tapi tak semua orang macam dia jugak!
Ok, kita divert ke topik lain pula ya...
Bila orang mahu berbuat kebaikan pada kita, kita terima..syukur, kerana orang mahu membantu. Tak kiralah bantuan dalam bentuk apa sekalipun.
Ya, kebaikan yang ikhlas, hanya ALLAH mampu membalasnya. Mungkin kita merasakan, kita tidak memerlukan bantuan dari si polan. Namun, kerana niatnya ikhlas mahu membuat kebaikan dan dia merasakan kita calon yang sesuai untuk diberi bantuan, maka terpilihlah kita. Mungkin bantuan tadi memang benar-benar jujur dan bukan kerana simpati. Apapun, hanya si polan yang lebih arif.
Selalu aku merasa hairan, kenapa aku sering diberi "inisiatif" itu dan ini dari dia dan dia. Adakah mereka fikir, aku amat memerlukan bantuan mereka. Ikhlaskah atau simpati semata? Kenapa aku dan bukan yang lain? Mungkin ini salah satu bantuan daripada ALLAH swt untuk aku. That is the only answer that came into my mind as I'm typing this. Banyak sangat ke kebaikan yang sudah aku lakukan sehingga orang mahu berbuat sedikit kebaikan pada aku? Wallahualam...
To conclude my non-stop babling...berkata benar memang dituntut. Tak salah langsung bercakap tentang perkara yang benar-sebenar-benarnya. It's just, I may not be interested or even bother to know. Kebaikan, bukan semua orang layak menikmatiknya. Apatah lagi kebaikan kurniaan sesama manusia. Alhamdulillah, aku antara insan yang layak untuk merasai sedikit kebaikan itu. Harapnya, kebaikan itu ikhlas dan bukan berlandaskan simpati..kerana kebaikan yang ikhlas, nikmatnya lebih dirasai. Jangan berbuat kebaikan kerana perasaan belas yang terlampau..aku akan merasa janggal dan hopeless. I don't need you to make me feel that way cause I can do it myself. Terima kasih seandainya benar-benar ikhlas..tapi kalau sebaliknya, just stop..I truly don't need it.
Kita diasuh bercakap benar kerana itu antara nilai murni dalam kehidupan. Cuma, apabila kita semakin celik meniti hidup, kita belajar untuk menipu. Tiada sesiapa yang menurunkan ilmu..mungkin ianya kepandaian semulajadi..masuk akal ke?
Aku nak cakap pasal apa sebenarnya ni?.........................??
Bila orang bercakap tentang itu dan ini..aku tahu, semuanya fakta. Kalau pun ada ramuan tambahan, aku percaya saja sebab aku ni lurus bendul orangnya! Tapi kebenaran yang terlalu telus (kononnya) boleh buat aku jelik. Sampai aku tak tahu nak bezakan, fakta itu sememangnya fakta atau auta saja lebih. Dek kerana itu, aku "wah..!!" kan jugalah. Hakikatnya, "aku peduli apa..".
Can't you just keep the facts to yourself? Not everyone wants to know every single details about this and that. Ya la..tak semua orang macam kau NurulHuda..ya, tau..tapi tak semua orang macam dia jugak!
Ok, kita divert ke topik lain pula ya...
Bila orang mahu berbuat kebaikan pada kita, kita terima..syukur, kerana orang mahu membantu. Tak kiralah bantuan dalam bentuk apa sekalipun.
Ya, kebaikan yang ikhlas, hanya ALLAH mampu membalasnya. Mungkin kita merasakan, kita tidak memerlukan bantuan dari si polan. Namun, kerana niatnya ikhlas mahu membuat kebaikan dan dia merasakan kita calon yang sesuai untuk diberi bantuan, maka terpilihlah kita. Mungkin bantuan tadi memang benar-benar jujur dan bukan kerana simpati. Apapun, hanya si polan yang lebih arif.
Selalu aku merasa hairan, kenapa aku sering diberi "inisiatif" itu dan ini dari dia dan dia. Adakah mereka fikir, aku amat memerlukan bantuan mereka. Ikhlaskah atau simpati semata? Kenapa aku dan bukan yang lain? Mungkin ini salah satu bantuan daripada ALLAH swt untuk aku. That is the only answer that came into my mind as I'm typing this. Banyak sangat ke kebaikan yang sudah aku lakukan sehingga orang mahu berbuat sedikit kebaikan pada aku? Wallahualam...
To conclude my non-stop babling...berkata benar memang dituntut. Tak salah langsung bercakap tentang perkara yang benar-sebenar-benarnya. It's just, I may not be interested or even bother to know. Kebaikan, bukan semua orang layak menikmatiknya. Apatah lagi kebaikan kurniaan sesama manusia. Alhamdulillah, aku antara insan yang layak untuk merasai sedikit kebaikan itu. Harapnya, kebaikan itu ikhlas dan bukan berlandaskan simpati..kerana kebaikan yang ikhlas, nikmatnya lebih dirasai. Jangan berbuat kebaikan kerana perasaan belas yang terlampau..aku akan merasa janggal dan hopeless. I don't need you to make me feel that way cause I can do it myself. Terima kasih seandainya benar-benar ikhlas..tapi kalau sebaliknya, just stop..I truly don't need it.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
LaGu HiTAm PUtiH
Tanya sama hati
Apa asal sayang
Adakah tandanya nampak dipandang
Kumbang rayu bunga, bulan dan bintangnya
Punya tanda-tanda hubungan mesra
Tanya sama hati
Pernahkah merindu
Ingat masa lena, apa mimpimu
Masa berjauhan, apa yang dikenang
Bila difahamkan itulah sayang
Jikalau tidak kerana sayang
Kuntuman kasih tak mungkin kembang
Andainya jemu mengganti rindu
Jambangan mesra tentulah layu
aku pun tak tahu apa motif update post ni..dari semalam terngiang lagu ni :)
Apa asal sayang
Adakah tandanya nampak dipandang
Kumbang rayu bunga, bulan dan bintangnya
Punya tanda-tanda hubungan mesra
Tanya sama hati
Pernahkah merindu
Ingat masa lena, apa mimpimu
Masa berjauhan, apa yang dikenang
Bila difahamkan itulah sayang
Jikalau tidak kerana sayang
Kuntuman kasih tak mungkin kembang
Andainya jemu mengganti rindu
Jambangan mesra tentulah layu
aku pun tak tahu apa motif update post ni..dari semalam terngiang lagu ni :)
Monday, May 31, 2010
y.o.U
My heart is full of rage and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for putting me in this situation. It was you who made me feel horribly terrible of myself. You forced me to deal with everything alone. You purposedly forget or refused to tell me, everything about life..about my life would be so damn complicated. You chose to let me go, so that you could tell everyone, that I've grown up, become matured and can take care of myself. You opt to be ignorant of my existence..and i am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for giving me hope. You shouldn't said anything if those words weren't true. Politeness doesn't suit you. Kind-hearted is a gesture that will take you years to master or not at all. Your innocent look, have fooled me. You have taught me the true meaning of dishonesty..and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for making holes in my heart. There are countless times, when I feel like the holes just getting bigger, and it's getting harder to conceal them. You have used me in so many ways that you possible could. I believed you because it was you. I have struggled to shut each holes. I get frustrated everytime I failed to. I pray for strength because it was and still a hardwork. You wounded me and broke my heart over and over again..and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for my lack in trust. How can I have faith and put my trust on anyone, when you have tarnished the sacred meaning to it. I will always have doubts, on whether or not I have make the right decisions and I will forever hate that. It's hard to trust myself yet alone another living soul..and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for training me in becoming a fighter. You pushed me down. You tore me apart. I got up and healed myself. I used to grumble because I couldn't take it anymore and you won't let me give up. I cried because your regimes were getting tougher. You ignored to look into my swelled eyes. You refused to listen when I screamed "enoughhhh!!". You went off and walked away because you know I will survive, I will make it through. You know eventually I will stop crying..and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for who I am now. I am blaming you for my uncertainty. I am blaming you for my optimistic mind. I am blaming you for my fears. I am blaming you for my courage. I am blaming you for my guilt. I am blaming you for my patience. I am blaming you for what you have done and still continue doing.
Yes, I am blaming you.
I am blaming you for putting me in this situation. It was you who made me feel horribly terrible of myself. You forced me to deal with everything alone. You purposedly forget or refused to tell me, everything about life..about my life would be so damn complicated. You chose to let me go, so that you could tell everyone, that I've grown up, become matured and can take care of myself. You opt to be ignorant of my existence..and i am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for giving me hope. You shouldn't said anything if those words weren't true. Politeness doesn't suit you. Kind-hearted is a gesture that will take you years to master or not at all. Your innocent look, have fooled me. You have taught me the true meaning of dishonesty..and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for making holes in my heart. There are countless times, when I feel like the holes just getting bigger, and it's getting harder to conceal them. You have used me in so many ways that you possible could. I believed you because it was you. I have struggled to shut each holes. I get frustrated everytime I failed to. I pray for strength because it was and still a hardwork. You wounded me and broke my heart over and over again..and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for my lack in trust. How can I have faith and put my trust on anyone, when you have tarnished the sacred meaning to it. I will always have doubts, on whether or not I have make the right decisions and I will forever hate that. It's hard to trust myself yet alone another living soul..and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for training me in becoming a fighter. You pushed me down. You tore me apart. I got up and healed myself. I used to grumble because I couldn't take it anymore and you won't let me give up. I cried because your regimes were getting tougher. You ignored to look into my swelled eyes. You refused to listen when I screamed "enoughhhh!!". You went off and walked away because you know I will survive, I will make it through. You know eventually I will stop crying..and I am blaming you for that.
I am blaming you for who I am now. I am blaming you for my uncertainty. I am blaming you for my optimistic mind. I am blaming you for my fears. I am blaming you for my courage. I am blaming you for my guilt. I am blaming you for my patience. I am blaming you for what you have done and still continue doing.
Yes, I am blaming you.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
TimE oUt
Aku mencuri ruang dan masa untuk post ini. Post ini harus diterbitkan hari ini kerana sudah lama benar ianya bersawang di dalam otak.
Aku letih. Aku bosan...dan aku merasakan urat kesabaran aku sudah hampir putus.
Mental dan fizikal aku sudah lama menjerit minta diberi perhatian..aku yang degil menutup telinga, mengeraskan hati kerana malas mahu melayan.
Aku letih dengan kerja. Aku letih memandu pergi dan pulang kerja. Aku letih melihat orang-orang di tempat kerja.
Sila gantikan perkataan "letih" pada perenggan di atas dengan bosan. Terima kasih.
I need to regain my energy and my patience. I need to get myself together. I need a break.
It is just a matter of where and when..
Aku letih. Aku bosan...dan aku merasakan urat kesabaran aku sudah hampir putus.
Mental dan fizikal aku sudah lama menjerit minta diberi perhatian..aku yang degil menutup telinga, mengeraskan hati kerana malas mahu melayan.
Aku letih dengan kerja. Aku letih memandu pergi dan pulang kerja. Aku letih melihat orang-orang di tempat kerja.
Sila gantikan perkataan "letih" pada perenggan di atas dengan bosan. Terima kasih.
I need to regain my energy and my patience. I need to get myself together. I need a break.
It is just a matter of where and when..
Monday, May 24, 2010
10 reASonS Y
10 reasons on "Why NurulHuda should not be in the office today..."
1) Dia sangat mengantuk
2) Dia rasa malas nak kerja
3) Dia bosan
4) Dia belum dibayar gaji untuk bulan ini
5) Dia dah pasang nawaitu nak m.c hari ini
6) Dia menyampah dengan beberapa manusia di ofis
7) Dia benar-benar mahu berada di rumah pada saat dan ketika ini
8) Dia tak dapat fokus dengan kerja dia
9) Dia rasa macam dia sakit kepala
10) Dia datang kerja setiap hari, selama 5 hari seminggu tanpa gagal
1) Dia sangat mengantuk
2) Dia rasa malas nak kerja
3) Dia bosan
4) Dia belum dibayar gaji untuk bulan ini
5) Dia dah pasang nawaitu nak m.c hari ini
6) Dia menyampah dengan beberapa manusia di ofis
7) Dia benar-benar mahu berada di rumah pada saat dan ketika ini
8) Dia tak dapat fokus dengan kerja dia
9) Dia rasa macam dia sakit kepala
10) Dia datang kerja setiap hari, selama 5 hari seminggu tanpa gagal
~end~
Friday, May 21, 2010
NoTe
5 minutes note:
Kira-kira 10 minit lalu, aku ke main office. Aku tengok langit..subhanallah, cantik sangat. Ianya terang dan warna biru. Aku senyum sendiri..kerana pada saat dan detik itu aku rasa,
"i am blessed.."
Friday, May 14, 2010
My MeD
I totally agree!!..however, I also believe that, if you laugh hard..you will cry even harder.
Dare to prove me wrong?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Mei 2010
I miss updating my blog..not that I have plenty of stories to share..but I just miss my own blog.
Alhamdulillah, setakat sebelas hari berada dalam bulan Mei, hidup aku berjalan lancar. Well, there were a few "road-blocks" but its normal,kan? Aku amat berharap, sebuah pengakhiran yang tenang dalam bab hidup aku untuk bulan ini (amin).
Semalam waktu lunch, aku nampak dua orang pekerja sedang membersihkan rumput, mencantas pokok..terdetik di dalam hati, "mesti diorang ingat best kalau ada kat tempat aku..keje bawah air-cond, selesa..tapi aku rase, aku sanggup gak tukar tempat ngan dorang, at least, tak payah attend meeting, jawab phone calls, kejar dateline...". Manusia melihat sesuatu itu dari perspektif yang berbeza,kan?
Aku sebagai contoh, adakala menginginkan sesuatu yang belum tentu sesuai apatah lagi terbaik buat aku. Sesekali cuba membanding beza kehidupan ini dengan orang lain. "Hai la NurulHuda, bukankah apa yang kamu ada sekarang, ketentuan yang terbaik dari ALLAH swt?..sentiasalah berprasangka baik ke atas setiap sesuatu yang telah termaktub di dalam kitab kehidupan kamu ya NurulHuda.."..ya, always have and always will be..
"Kalau sudah begitu, kenapa masih ada persoalan dan perbandingan? Jalanilah kehidupan ini seadanya NurulHuda..bukankah kita sudah sama setuju?"Ya..ya tahu..anggap sajalah aku melayan perasaan di kala bosan..baru persoalan serupa itu timbul. Bottom line, I am grateful for everything I have and for everything that I do not have..
InsyaAllah, you will have a great life ahead NurulHuda..never give-up,ok!.."baek!!!!".
Alhamdulillah, setakat sebelas hari berada dalam bulan Mei, hidup aku berjalan lancar. Well, there were a few "road-blocks" but its normal,kan? Aku amat berharap, sebuah pengakhiran yang tenang dalam bab hidup aku untuk bulan ini (amin).
Semalam waktu lunch, aku nampak dua orang pekerja sedang membersihkan rumput, mencantas pokok..terdetik di dalam hati, "mesti diorang ingat best kalau ada kat tempat aku..keje bawah air-cond, selesa..tapi aku rase, aku sanggup gak tukar tempat ngan dorang, at least, tak payah attend meeting, jawab phone calls, kejar dateline...". Manusia melihat sesuatu itu dari perspektif yang berbeza,kan?
Aku sebagai contoh, adakala menginginkan sesuatu yang belum tentu sesuai apatah lagi terbaik buat aku. Sesekali cuba membanding beza kehidupan ini dengan orang lain. "Hai la NurulHuda, bukankah apa yang kamu ada sekarang, ketentuan yang terbaik dari ALLAH swt?..sentiasalah berprasangka baik ke atas setiap sesuatu yang telah termaktub di dalam kitab kehidupan kamu ya NurulHuda.."..ya, always have and always will be..
"Kalau sudah begitu, kenapa masih ada persoalan dan perbandingan? Jalanilah kehidupan ini seadanya NurulHuda..bukankah kita sudah sama setuju?"Ya..ya tahu..anggap sajalah aku melayan perasaan di kala bosan..baru persoalan serupa itu timbul. Bottom line, I am grateful for everything I have and for everything that I do not have..
InsyaAllah, you will have a great life ahead NurulHuda..never give-up,ok!.."baek!!!!".
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
PadaMU Aku Bersujud (Afghan)
Ku menatap dalam kelam
Tiada yang bisa ku lihat
Selain hanya namaMU ya ALLAH
Esok ataukah nanti
Ampuni semua salahku
Lindungi aku dari segala fitnah
KAU tempat ku meminta
KAU beriku bahagia
Jadikan aku selamanya
HambaMU yang bertaubat
Ampuniku ya ALLAH
Yang sering melupakanMU
Saat KAU limpahkan kurniaanMU
Dalam sunyi aku bersujud
Ya ALLAH, hanya padaMU aku berlindung dan hanya padaMU aku bermohon..Ya ALLAH, berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menempuhi segalanya..
Ya ALLAH, KAU Maha mendengar segala rayuanku..
Ya ALLAH, aku limpahkan segala syukurku hanya padaMU..
Ya ALLAH, berkatilah segala amalanku..
Ya ALLAH, bukakanlah pintu hatiku untuk sentiasa beriman hanya padaMU..
Ya ALLAH, aku merayu petunjuk hanya dariMU..
Sesungguhnya ya ALLAH, hanya padaMU tempat aku mengadu..
Sesungguhnya, Engkau Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu yang terbaik mahupun sebaliknya buat hambaMU yang hina ini..
~amin ya rabbal alamin~
NoTe
5 minutes note:
"i don't wanna know, if u're playin' me..keep it on the low
coz my heart can't take it anymore..and if u creepin', please don't let it show
...i don't wanna know..."
Thursday, April 8, 2010
1st QuArTeR
Genap seminggu berhijrah ke pejabat baru. Aku berat hati meninggalkan office lama..kerana di situ aku memulakan pengalaman baru di sini dan kerana aku sangat-sangat selesa di situ.
Keterbukaan office baru agak menduga kesabaran kerana, aku terpaksa rela terima ragam teman-teman di sini. Semua orang suka layan lagu time buat kerja, tapi tak perlulah volume sekuat alam, macam sebelah telinga anda dah rosak! Tolonglah profesional. Terimalah hakikat, ini bukan pejabat yang diwarisi turun temurun dari generasi ke generasi keluarga anda dan anda bukanlah salah seorang shareholder syarikat ini. Hormatlah jiran sebelah menyebelah, kerana jiran anda yang seorang ini sedaya mungkin cuba menghormati anda. Anda mungkin rasa suara anda lunak merdu tapi ketahuilah, jiran anda tidak berpendapat begitu. Tolonglah pergi ke pusat-pusat karaoke yang halal di sisi undang-undang untuk melontarkan vokal anda.
Mendapat rakan kerja baru yang aku kira telah banyak membantu (setakat catitan ini dibuat). New boss to be exact. Sekarang unit aku sudah ada dua lawyer yang berpengalaman. Alhamdulillah, aku sudah boleh merujuk kepada mereka yang lebih arif tentang kerja-kerja yang aku buat sekarang. Mereka sudah sedia maklum tentang aku yang "kosong" tentang perundangan namun mereka tidak meminggirkan aku dalam sebarang keputusan ataupun update when it comes to my work. Mereka cuba untuk memahami situasi aku. Syukur sangat..
This new office is not all bad...I am closer to my favourite spot..I can see the greatest view from here :)
Keterbukaan office baru agak menduga kesabaran kerana, aku terpaksa rela terima ragam teman-teman di sini. Semua orang suka layan lagu time buat kerja, tapi tak perlulah volume sekuat alam, macam sebelah telinga anda dah rosak! Tolonglah profesional. Terimalah hakikat, ini bukan pejabat yang diwarisi turun temurun dari generasi ke generasi keluarga anda dan anda bukanlah salah seorang shareholder syarikat ini. Hormatlah jiran sebelah menyebelah, kerana jiran anda yang seorang ini sedaya mungkin cuba menghormati anda. Anda mungkin rasa suara anda lunak merdu tapi ketahuilah, jiran anda tidak berpendapat begitu. Tolonglah pergi ke pusat-pusat karaoke yang halal di sisi undang-undang untuk melontarkan vokal anda.
Mendapat rakan kerja baru yang aku kira telah banyak membantu (setakat catitan ini dibuat). New boss to be exact. Sekarang unit aku sudah ada dua lawyer yang berpengalaman. Alhamdulillah, aku sudah boleh merujuk kepada mereka yang lebih arif tentang kerja-kerja yang aku buat sekarang. Mereka sudah sedia maklum tentang aku yang "kosong" tentang perundangan namun mereka tidak meminggirkan aku dalam sebarang keputusan ataupun update when it comes to my work. Mereka cuba untuk memahami situasi aku. Syukur sangat..
This new office is not all bad...I am closer to my favourite spot..I can see the greatest view from here :)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
DeCLaRAtiON
Statement berbunyi, "kite rase, lelaki yang nak ngorat nurul, sure susah.."I couldn't agree more..hahaha
Entri kali ini adalah cubaan untuk merungkai, setakat mana kesahihan kenyataan di atas..
Aku terdiam sesaat dua, bila dengar ayat itu terpacul dari mulut seorang rakan. Selama ini, memang aku sendiri berasa begitu, tetapi tak sangka pula ada orang yang notice tentang perkara yang satu ini. Mungkin kerana aku pernah bercerita serba sedikit tentang itu dan ini, jadi si rakan tadi, telah membuat kesimpulan sendiri. Aku tidak marah jauh sekali berkecil hati, kerana kesimpulan kami sebenarnya sama.
Pernah seorang hamba ALLAH, mengatakan aku cerewet bila masuk bab yang satu ini..walhal hamba ini tadi, tidak langsung berada dalam senarai teman rapat. Aku tidak melenting kerana mereka yang tidak kenal, tidak tahu dan tidak faham akan diri ini, pasti akan menyatakan perkara yang serupa. Hendak disalahkan siapa kalau orang tak memahami kita, ye tak?
Mungkin kerana cara aku yang nampak terlalu reserved, serius, high maintenance ataupun ego, membuatkan aku kelihatan seperti seorang yang sukar didekati. First impression orang pada aku..sombong. I do get that a lot. Once again, I cannot and I will not blame anyone for that...tapi so far, orang-orang yang pernah ingat aku sombong, cakap aku ni peramah plus friendly..so, salah siapa sekarang?hahahaha...
Ya aku pernah frust. Barangkali, bertitik tolak dari situ dan juga beberapa episod dalam hidup aku, membuatkan aku lebih reserved..lebih protective. You can fix a broken glass, but the reflection will never look the same. I have fixed mine but I can still see the crack. Ini antara alasan terbaik yang boleh aku hujahkan tentang persoalan ini. Tapi sampai bila aku nak gunakan alasan ini? It seems like I am still not over it kan..? Jujurnya, hati aku sudah kosong. Tiada dia mahupun sesiapa.
So, seandainya akan ada "orang baru", dia mungkin akan menghadapi sedikit kesukaran. Aku tidak akan menggunakan ayat cliche, "lelaki semuanya sama..", kerana hakikatnya tidak. "Orang baru" itu, mungkin perlu lebih bersabar kalau dia betul-betul ikhlas. Mungkin "orang baru" itu akan merasakan aku seorang yang senang dibuat kawan tetapi to be more than just friends, he might be having second thoughts. Once again, if he has issue with that, I am not going to blame him because few of my friends (female) think I am that kind of person. What is so wrong with that anyway? Well, it is up to that "orang baru" to decide la kot kan..
To that note, yes I am declaring..sesiapa yang ada niat/interested to usha me, mungkin sedikit susah. As to defend myself, aku bukanlah seorang yang high maintenance seperti sangkaan seorang kawan (lelaki). Kalau setiap kali gaji aku shopping dikategorikan sebagai high maintenance, aku guna duit ringgit sendiri..tak pernah aku shopping guna duit lelaki bukan muhrim. Everyone has their egos, me too..tapi aku rasa, ego aku belum sampai tinggi ke langit. Let say, "orang baru" nanti kata aku ego, I really need him to explain in details, cause I seriously don't understand this part. Maybe you will think that I am being jual mahal..but to me, all I am doing is protecting my own heart.
Entri kali ini adalah cubaan untuk merungkai, setakat mana kesahihan kenyataan di atas..
Aku terdiam sesaat dua, bila dengar ayat itu terpacul dari mulut seorang rakan. Selama ini, memang aku sendiri berasa begitu, tetapi tak sangka pula ada orang yang notice tentang perkara yang satu ini. Mungkin kerana aku pernah bercerita serba sedikit tentang itu dan ini, jadi si rakan tadi, telah membuat kesimpulan sendiri. Aku tidak marah jauh sekali berkecil hati, kerana kesimpulan kami sebenarnya sama.
Pernah seorang hamba ALLAH, mengatakan aku cerewet bila masuk bab yang satu ini..walhal hamba ini tadi, tidak langsung berada dalam senarai teman rapat. Aku tidak melenting kerana mereka yang tidak kenal, tidak tahu dan tidak faham akan diri ini, pasti akan menyatakan perkara yang serupa. Hendak disalahkan siapa kalau orang tak memahami kita, ye tak?
Mungkin kerana cara aku yang nampak terlalu reserved, serius, high maintenance ataupun ego, membuatkan aku kelihatan seperti seorang yang sukar didekati. First impression orang pada aku..sombong. I do get that a lot. Once again, I cannot and I will not blame anyone for that...tapi so far, orang-orang yang pernah ingat aku sombong, cakap aku ni peramah plus friendly..so, salah siapa sekarang?hahahaha...
Ya aku pernah frust. Barangkali, bertitik tolak dari situ dan juga beberapa episod dalam hidup aku, membuatkan aku lebih reserved..lebih protective. You can fix a broken glass, but the reflection will never look the same. I have fixed mine but I can still see the crack. Ini antara alasan terbaik yang boleh aku hujahkan tentang persoalan ini. Tapi sampai bila aku nak gunakan alasan ini? It seems like I am still not over it kan..? Jujurnya, hati aku sudah kosong. Tiada dia mahupun sesiapa.
So, seandainya akan ada "orang baru", dia mungkin akan menghadapi sedikit kesukaran. Aku tidak akan menggunakan ayat cliche, "lelaki semuanya sama..", kerana hakikatnya tidak. "Orang baru" itu, mungkin perlu lebih bersabar kalau dia betul-betul ikhlas. Mungkin "orang baru" itu akan merasakan aku seorang yang senang dibuat kawan tetapi to be more than just friends, he might be having second thoughts. Once again, if he has issue with that, I am not going to blame him because few of my friends (female) think I am that kind of person. What is so wrong with that anyway? Well, it is up to that "orang baru" to decide la kot kan..
To that note, yes I am declaring..sesiapa yang ada niat/interested to usha me, mungkin sedikit susah. As to defend myself, aku bukanlah seorang yang high maintenance seperti sangkaan seorang kawan (lelaki). Kalau setiap kali gaji aku shopping dikategorikan sebagai high maintenance, aku guna duit ringgit sendiri..tak pernah aku shopping guna duit lelaki bukan muhrim. Everyone has their egos, me too..tapi aku rasa, ego aku belum sampai tinggi ke langit. Let say, "orang baru" nanti kata aku ego, I really need him to explain in details, cause I seriously don't understand this part. Maybe you will think that I am being jual mahal..but to me, all I am doing is protecting my own heart.
Friday, March 19, 2010
My TuNeS
Feeling good
My theme song. whenever I feel slightly down, this song will definitely cheer me up! Tak kiralah apa pun yang berlaku dalam hidup aku, aku tahu..aku tak menyusahkan hidup sesiapa, aku hidup berlandaskan landasan yang betul..I love myself. I love me, me and more me.. :)
Yang Terindah Hanya Sementara
Lagu jiwang aku suatu ketika dahulu. Memang menjiwai lagu ini sewaktu aku admire sorang mamat masa sekolah. Masa tu, bisa menitik airmata ku..menghayati la konon..hahahaha
Lelaki Ini
Pangkor '08. Everytime I listen to this song, memang teringat detik-detik itu...walawey..haha..however, do take note that, the real Lelaki Ini, has yet to arrive :)
Bayangan Gurauan
Bila dengar lagu ni, automatik aku akan ingat waktu aku darjah 5. I remember the fun, the madness I used to have. If I'm not mistaken, min buat gosip, saying that our classmate had a crush on me..ke aku yang berhalusinasi?hahahaha
Baby One More Time
Waktu lagu ni famous, aku form 4 kalau tak salah. Masa itu, memang suka sangat lagu ni. This song used to remind me of a boy, who had a crush on me. He annoyed me so much. I offended him in some ways, and I felt terrible. He dissapeared and I tried to track him down to ask for his forgiveness. Alhamdulillah, we met. Unfortunately, he got the wrong idea. "Saya nak mintak maaf, bukan mintak awak ngorat saya sekali lagi.."..(I would hurt his feeling again, if I said this out loud..hehe).
Rindu Padanya
He was so cute..short, but cute! First and the only guy yang aku admire sepanjang aku di UiTM. First time aku nampak dia, the only word that I could think of was, "kiutnye mamat ni..!!". Aku usha dia for the whole semester, sampaikan aku rasa at one point, dia & geng-geng dia perasan aku dok usha dia. He was a lucky guy! Why?..ingat senang aku nak usha orang sampai macam tu?hahaha
Two Steps Behind
I quoted this song for my first ever break-up letter..enough said..hahaha
Stuck
Aku selalu nyanyi lagu ni masa masak bubur & bungkus nasi time kerja part-time Mcd. Time lagu ni popular, episod jiwakhachau aku baru start. Lama jugalah stuck nya kan..hmmm
Over You
This is my closure. It came out when I needed the most. Every words from this song resembled what I was going through. "picking up the pieces..", "putting my heart back together.."..Sometimes, it feels like I still do..
Through The Rain
Another theme song of mine. I love this song cause it motivates me to be positive in life. No matter how hard my life may be, I know..I'll get through it..insyaAllah
I'd Come For U
Still have this song in my phone. Lagu ini mengingatkan aku on that particular moment...unfortunately, that will never ever happen again.
Well, maybe you have your own version for each of these songs..I'm just sharing mine :)
My theme song. whenever I feel slightly down, this song will definitely cheer me up! Tak kiralah apa pun yang berlaku dalam hidup aku, aku tahu..aku tak menyusahkan hidup sesiapa, aku hidup berlandaskan landasan yang betul..I love myself. I love me, me and more me.. :)
Yang Terindah Hanya Sementara
Lagu jiwang aku suatu ketika dahulu. Memang menjiwai lagu ini sewaktu aku admire sorang mamat masa sekolah. Masa tu, bisa menitik airmata ku..menghayati la konon..hahahaha
Lelaki Ini
Pangkor '08. Everytime I listen to this song, memang teringat detik-detik itu...walawey..haha..however, do take note that, the real Lelaki Ini, has yet to arrive :)
Bayangan Gurauan
Bila dengar lagu ni, automatik aku akan ingat waktu aku darjah 5. I remember the fun, the madness I used to have. If I'm not mistaken, min buat gosip, saying that our classmate had a crush on me..ke aku yang berhalusinasi?hahahaha
Baby One More Time
Waktu lagu ni famous, aku form 4 kalau tak salah. Masa itu, memang suka sangat lagu ni. This song used to remind me of a boy, who had a crush on me. He annoyed me so much. I offended him in some ways, and I felt terrible. He dissapeared and I tried to track him down to ask for his forgiveness. Alhamdulillah, we met. Unfortunately, he got the wrong idea. "Saya nak mintak maaf, bukan mintak awak ngorat saya sekali lagi.."..(I would hurt his feeling again, if I said this out loud..hehe).
Rindu Padanya
He was so cute..short, but cute! First and the only guy yang aku admire sepanjang aku di UiTM. First time aku nampak dia, the only word that I could think of was, "kiutnye mamat ni..!!". Aku usha dia for the whole semester, sampaikan aku rasa at one point, dia & geng-geng dia perasan aku dok usha dia. He was a lucky guy! Why?..ingat senang aku nak usha orang sampai macam tu?hahaha
Two Steps Behind
I quoted this song for my first ever break-up letter..enough said..hahaha
Stuck
Aku selalu nyanyi lagu ni masa masak bubur & bungkus nasi time kerja part-time Mcd. Time lagu ni popular, episod jiwakhachau aku baru start. Lama jugalah stuck nya kan..hmmm
Over You
This is my closure. It came out when I needed the most. Every words from this song resembled what I was going through. "picking up the pieces..", "putting my heart back together.."..Sometimes, it feels like I still do..
Through The Rain
Another theme song of mine. I love this song cause it motivates me to be positive in life. No matter how hard my life may be, I know..I'll get through it..insyaAllah
I'd Come For U
Still have this song in my phone. Lagu ini mengingatkan aku on that particular moment...unfortunately, that will never ever happen again.
Well, maybe you have your own version for each of these songs..I'm just sharing mine :)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
NoTe
5 minutes note:
Setiap helaian muka surat itu, masih bisa membuat aku lemah dan pasrah..
persoalannya, kenapa?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
AkU KeRjA..kErJa AkU
Adakah aku terlalu berdikari a.k.a ikut kepala sendiri, tak reti bekerja dalam kumpulan ataupun tak tahu memberi arahan bila perlu?
Sekadar berkongsi info, ini adalah pekerjaan aku yang ke-4. Job scope tak sama langsung dengan tugasan-tugasan terdahulu. Kali ini, cabaran kerjanya agak berbeza. I'm being assigned in "Legal & Government Liaison", previously known as "Legal & Corporate Secretarial". I'm being in-charged with the tenancy agreement. Aku, yang hanya ada Diploma in Office Management & Technology a.k.a Secretarial Science, buat kerja-kerja yang berkaitan dengan law..at first, I didn't bother much tapi sekarang...
Selagi hidup, kerja semakin menimbun. Situasi yang sama tak kiralah dalam mana-mana organisasi. Pandai-pandai sendirilah macam mana nak survive. Sana sini orang canang, "team work", "working as a team", "my team"..team, team, team tapi aku tak rasa pun macam tu. Yang aku nampak sikap lepas tangan, sikap mengarah yang tak kena tempat..kalau orang-orang itu, ahli lembaga pengarah, aku kisah la juga..tapi kalau setakat tinggi sikit dari aku, buat menyampah je..
Sedia maklum, aku tiada background legal. Setakat ambil subject "Business Law" masa part 6. Bab-bab law, mana boleh buat main, ye tak? Silap fakta, silap angka, silap cakap.."saya saman court dalam...". Jadi, orang berpendapat, segala isu, boleh settle kalau unit legal masuk campur. Kebiasaannya, penyelesaian melalui undang-undang adalah proses terakhir. Bukannya senang-senang kita boleh ambil tindakan, ye tak? Mungkin juga, kerana sudah lama tidak bekerjasama dengan unit-unit lain, aku rasa sedikit janggal. Sekarang, aku kena co-ordinate dengan department lain. Unit lain, kena bagi aku instruction, baru aku boleh proceed. Tapi kadang-kadang, bila satu-satu kerja itu pending kerana orang lain, secara langsung, kerja aku pun kadang-kadang sangkut juga..Aku yang memang tersohor bab-bab tak reti nak sound orang ni, akan sangat emo bila situasi begini berlaku. Bertambah emo, bila mana orang yang buat kerja aku pending tu, datang balik pada aku dan tanya, "nurul, ape citer eh.....?", "nurul, kenapa surat tak kuar lagi?", "kenapa unit ni tak open lagi?".."Kenapa kau tak check dulu status from your side, before tanya aku macam-macam?" (bestnya kalau aku boleh cakap camni).
To me, it is all about attitude..attitude towards your work, your co-worker. Kalau semua orang nak jadi bos yang tahu mengarah sahaja, so, siapa yang nak buat kerja? Jangan jadikan seniority sebagai alasan korang nak besar kepala, cakap tak guna akal..Seorang senior, patut tunjukkan contoh yang elok, bijak..dah nama pun senior. Selama mana nak bangga dengan pangkat?
Mungkin, aku akan lama di sini. Kerja-kerja yang sedia ada, mungkin akan menjadi rumit, kalau aku tak pandai nak co-operate dengan orang lain. So NurulHuda, pandai-pandailah nak hidup ye..
Mungkin, kesemua di atas..
Pada aku, selagi aku tak menyusahkan kerja orang, orang jangan susahkan kerja aku. Buat baik, balasannya baik, buat jahat..sendiri mau ingat la kan..
Sekadar berkongsi info, ini adalah pekerjaan aku yang ke-4. Job scope tak sama langsung dengan tugasan-tugasan terdahulu. Kali ini, cabaran kerjanya agak berbeza. I'm being assigned in "Legal & Government Liaison", previously known as "Legal & Corporate Secretarial". I'm being in-charged with the tenancy agreement. Aku, yang hanya ada Diploma in Office Management & Technology a.k.a Secretarial Science, buat kerja-kerja yang berkaitan dengan law..at first, I didn't bother much tapi sekarang...
Selagi hidup, kerja semakin menimbun. Situasi yang sama tak kiralah dalam mana-mana organisasi. Pandai-pandai sendirilah macam mana nak survive. Sana sini orang canang, "team work", "working as a team", "my team"..team, team, team tapi aku tak rasa pun macam tu. Yang aku nampak sikap lepas tangan, sikap mengarah yang tak kena tempat..kalau orang-orang itu, ahli lembaga pengarah, aku kisah la juga..tapi kalau setakat tinggi sikit dari aku, buat menyampah je..
Sedia maklum, aku tiada background legal. Setakat ambil subject "Business Law" masa part 6. Bab-bab law, mana boleh buat main, ye tak? Silap fakta, silap angka, silap cakap.."saya saman court dalam...". Jadi, orang berpendapat, segala isu, boleh settle kalau unit legal masuk campur. Kebiasaannya, penyelesaian melalui undang-undang adalah proses terakhir. Bukannya senang-senang kita boleh ambil tindakan, ye tak? Mungkin juga, kerana sudah lama tidak bekerjasama dengan unit-unit lain, aku rasa sedikit janggal. Sekarang, aku kena co-ordinate dengan department lain. Unit lain, kena bagi aku instruction, baru aku boleh proceed. Tapi kadang-kadang, bila satu-satu kerja itu pending kerana orang lain, secara langsung, kerja aku pun kadang-kadang sangkut juga..Aku yang memang tersohor bab-bab tak reti nak sound orang ni, akan sangat emo bila situasi begini berlaku. Bertambah emo, bila mana orang yang buat kerja aku pending tu, datang balik pada aku dan tanya, "nurul, ape citer eh.....?", "nurul, kenapa surat tak kuar lagi?", "kenapa unit ni tak open lagi?".."Kenapa kau tak check dulu status from your side, before tanya aku macam-macam?" (bestnya kalau aku boleh cakap camni).
To me, it is all about attitude..attitude towards your work, your co-worker. Kalau semua orang nak jadi bos yang tahu mengarah sahaja, so, siapa yang nak buat kerja? Jangan jadikan seniority sebagai alasan korang nak besar kepala, cakap tak guna akal..Seorang senior, patut tunjukkan contoh yang elok, bijak..dah nama pun senior. Selama mana nak bangga dengan pangkat?
Mungkin, aku akan lama di sini. Kerja-kerja yang sedia ada, mungkin akan menjadi rumit, kalau aku tak pandai nak co-operate dengan orang lain. So NurulHuda, pandai-pandailah nak hidup ye..
Thursday, February 25, 2010
EnTri YAnG ke 100
Me thought on..
H.a.p.p.i.n.e.s.s: Secara am, aku memang happy. Gembira aku, tak semestinya gelak bedekah, senyum meleret dari pagi sampai ke malam. Kalau orang lain tak tahu aku happy, hanya kerana aku tak gelak besar dan senyum tak henti, lantaklah. Asalkan aku tahu, deep down inside, I am happy. Right now, I am truly happy!
S.e.c.r.e.t.s: Everybody has their own skeleton in the closet. Itu hak privasi masing-masing. Aku ada rahsia. Aku simpan rahsia orang. Aku memang perahsia (so they said..) dan aku tak pernah rasa terbeban kerana memegang amanah menyimpan rahsia. Kadang-kadang, rahsia membuat hidup aku seronok, serabut tapi best..haha
F.r.i.e.n.d.s.h.i.p: Who would have thought, I will have a bunch of friends! Alhamdulillah, aku tak tersilap memilih kawan (ok..ada la a few mistakes..haha)..but overall, I have a group of close friends..who have seen my ups and downs, who understands me well enough (mysterious or not..hahaha) and remain to be my friends up until today! I've made new friends and lost some my old friends along the way. Aku hargai persahabatan antara aku dengan korang semua. I know I can't be everbody's best friend tapi insyaAllah, I can be your friend :)
H.a.p.p.i.n.e.s.s: Secara am, aku memang happy. Gembira aku, tak semestinya gelak bedekah, senyum meleret dari pagi sampai ke malam. Kalau orang lain tak tahu aku happy, hanya kerana aku tak gelak besar dan senyum tak henti, lantaklah. Asalkan aku tahu, deep down inside, I am happy. Right now, I am truly happy!
S.e.c.r.e.t.s: Everybody has their own skeleton in the closet. Itu hak privasi masing-masing. Aku ada rahsia. Aku simpan rahsia orang. Aku memang perahsia (so they said..) dan aku tak pernah rasa terbeban kerana memegang amanah menyimpan rahsia. Kadang-kadang, rahsia membuat hidup aku seronok, serabut tapi best..haha
F.r.i.e.n.d.s.h.i.p: Who would have thought, I will have a bunch of friends! Alhamdulillah, aku tak tersilap memilih kawan (ok..ada la a few mistakes..haha)..but overall, I have a group of close friends..who have seen my ups and downs, who understands me well enough (mysterious or not..hahaha) and remain to be my friends up until today! I've made new friends and lost some my old friends along the way. Aku hargai persahabatan antara aku dengan korang semua. I know I can't be everbody's best friend tapi insyaAllah, I can be your friend :)
L.o.v.e: Dil To Pagal Hai, Kuch-kuch Ho Ta Hai..been that, done that..hahahaha. Mungkin sudah pernah jatuh, tapi tidaklah sampai tersungkur. The feeling was nice, happy..ya tak lupa sedikit huruhara..haha. Serik? Tak. Am I looking for a new one? Hmm..macam tak, kalau ya pun, still, macam tak..haha..Nevertheless, I have plenty of love in my life. Love from my family & friends. "Love will come when you least expected.."..aku nak try apply konsep ni..haha
C.r.y.i.n.g: It helps..biarlah orang nak kata aku sememey ke ape ke..w.h.a.t ever! Nak kata aku senang menangis, tak sangatlah..dulu-dulu ya..sekarang, tak lagi. It can clear up my head..I can't really say, it ease whatever pain that I'm going through at that time tapi rasa lega & lapang lepas menangis. Menangis bukan menandakan korang lemah, cuma luahan emosi. Tapi orang perempuan ni, happy menangis..sedih lagilah..
W.o.r.k: Kerja semakin bertambah. Kadang-kadang, aku main-main buat kerja..haha..release tension la konon. Dulu-dulu, tak terbayang pun realiti dunia bekerja begini. Yelah, tengok drama bawa fail ke hulu ke hilir, menaip penuh tekun..hahaha. Dunia sebenar, tidaklah begitu. Hmm..pengaruh drama..cet!
D.r.e.a.m.g.u.y: Back in the days, I had a vision of my dreamguy..haha!! Dia mestilah begini, sikapnya yang baik-baik sahaja, rupanya mestilah begitu..the list could go on. Semakin dewasa, that vision can no longer be applied. Haruslah lebih realistik. Cakap-cakap teman supaya jangan begini, jangan begitu..ya, untuk kebaikan. Jadi, tiada lagi istilah dreamguy dalam kamus aku. Mungkin, "what you see is what you get", kot?
*Alhamdulillah..finally I've finished my 100th entry :)
Friday, February 12, 2010
NoTe
5 minutes note:
Kadang-kadang...memang kosong,
tetapi...selalunya ada.
Kadang-kadang...memang tenang,
tetapi...selalunya ribut.
Kadang-kadang...memang senang,
tetapi...selalunya susah.
Kadang-kadang...memang lapang,
tetapi...selalunya sempit.
Kadang-kadang...memang hujan,
tetapi...selalunya cerah.
Kadang-kadang...memang pelik,
tetapi...selalunya faham.
Kadang-kadang...memang sanggup,
tetapi...selalunya sangsi.
Kadang-kadang...memang aku sukar difahami,
tetapi...selalunya aku tak mahu dimengerti.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
3 LiTtLe WoRdS
I miss the smell of your tobacco
I miss the first time we met
I miss being understood by youI miss listening to your voice
I miss the numerous times you said, "take care.."I miss replying your letters
I miss catching the glimpse of youI miss making you a mug of tea
I miss feeling angry at youI miss to see the resemblance
I miss the way you cared for meI miss hearing your jokes
I miss pretending I don't care about youI miss the day when we started to talk
I miss eating your cookingI miss your common sense
I miss your wrinkle faceI miss the arguments
I miss your kindnessI miss your affections towards us
I miss the feeling that I get from youI miss our differences
I miss the way you teased meI miss your old tales
I miss playing the waiting gameI miss giving you the silent treatment
I miss being spoiled by youI miss the scent of your cologne
I miss to console youI miss feeling whole because of you
I miss the surprisesI miss your patience
I miss being worried by youI miss taking care of you
I miss having you next to meI miss seing you feeling guilty
I miss avoiding youI miss the way we looked at each other
I miss to see you laughed your heart outI miss watching you sleep
I miss the conversationsI miss looking at you smiling at me
I miss the ways you lighten up our livesI miss the day when we walked together
I miss the ways you tried to get my attentionI miss calling you for breakfast, lunch & dinner
I miss feeling happy because of youI miss our last goodbye
I miss everything..~I miss you..I miss us~
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sshh..
"When I'm talking, can you just s.h.u.t.u.p!!".
Does that sound too harsh? Depends on how you say it..haha..
Hukumnya ialah: bila seseorang sedang bercakap, di harap anda dapat memberikan kerjasama, iaitu dengar, dengar, dengar dan jangan cuba menyampuk!
Kita dengar rungutan, permasalahan orang setiap hari. Masalah besar, isu yang remeh..tak kiralah, asalkan orang itu dapat meluahkan rasa yang terbuku di hati. Kita menjadi pendengar yang cuba memahami apa yang cuba disampaikan. Namun kadang kala, si pendengar mahu juga didengari..
Mungkin si pendengar tidak memahami konsep, "it's not your time to speak up, it is mine..save your words to some other time..". Marilah kita beranggapan, si pendengar juga mempunyai isu yang hendak dikongsi. Apabila si pengadu mula bercerita, si pendengar pun mulalah nak bercerita sama. Si pengadu cakap itu, si pendengar cakap ini. So, siapa yang dengar siapa sekarang? It is frustrating,kan?
Confession: Sometimes I cannot be a good listener. I tend to talk, talk and talk. I know, it is annoying. I thought, since me and the other person is in the mood for sharing, I might as well expressing my own issues. It appears that I've chosen the wrong time to do so..sorry, my bad!!
Kesimpulan: Tak kiralah betapa besar isu/masalah anda NurulHuda, bila orang mengadu/meluah rasa, fahamilah bahawasanya, dia tidak mahu mendengar permasalahan anda. Dia hanya mahu didengari dan dimengerti. Kalau kamu mahu mengadu, find your own time and slot. Call/email/sms to that particular person. Jangan sibuk nak menyelit perihal kamu bila orang mengadu. Just focus on that person and that person only! Haven't you learned anything yet NurulHuda??
Response: Ok..noted..I'll do that.. :p
Does that sound too harsh? Depends on how you say it..haha..
Hukumnya ialah: bila seseorang sedang bercakap, di harap anda dapat memberikan kerjasama, iaitu dengar, dengar, dengar dan jangan cuba menyampuk!
Kita dengar rungutan, permasalahan orang setiap hari. Masalah besar, isu yang remeh..tak kiralah, asalkan orang itu dapat meluahkan rasa yang terbuku di hati. Kita menjadi pendengar yang cuba memahami apa yang cuba disampaikan. Namun kadang kala, si pendengar mahu juga didengari..
Mungkin si pendengar tidak memahami konsep, "it's not your time to speak up, it is mine..save your words to some other time..". Marilah kita beranggapan, si pendengar juga mempunyai isu yang hendak dikongsi. Apabila si pengadu mula bercerita, si pendengar pun mulalah nak bercerita sama. Si pengadu cakap itu, si pendengar cakap ini. So, siapa yang dengar siapa sekarang? It is frustrating,kan?
Confession: Sometimes I cannot be a good listener. I tend to talk, talk and talk. I know, it is annoying. I thought, since me and the other person is in the mood for sharing, I might as well expressing my own issues. It appears that I've chosen the wrong time to do so..sorry, my bad!!
Kesimpulan: Tak kiralah betapa besar isu/masalah anda NurulHuda, bila orang mengadu/meluah rasa, fahamilah bahawasanya, dia tidak mahu mendengar permasalahan anda. Dia hanya mahu didengari dan dimengerti. Kalau kamu mahu mengadu, find your own time and slot. Call/email/sms to that particular person. Jangan sibuk nak menyelit perihal kamu bila orang mengadu. Just focus on that person and that person only! Haven't you learned anything yet NurulHuda??
Response: Ok..noted..I'll do that.. :p
Monday, February 1, 2010
FeBRuaRY
First day of February 2010. Walawey...pantasnya masa beredar!!!
Kesudahan hidup aku pada Januari yang lalu, sangat kucar-kacir. So much to be done, so many things to think through, so many stuff need to be said..pendek kata, semuanya banyak la! Aku meninggalkan Januari dengan perasaan kusut yang masih berbaki...
Kesudahan hidup aku pada Januari yang lalu, sangat kucar-kacir. So much to be done, so many things to think through, so many stuff need to be said..pendek kata, semuanya banyak la! Aku meninggalkan Januari dengan perasaan kusut yang masih berbaki...
Setelah setahun, aku baru benar-benar menyedari dan yakin, skop kerja yang aku lakukan terlalu dewasa jika dibandingkan dengan pengalaman sebelum ini. Jauh tersasar dari kelayakan aku. On the positive note, yes..I get to learn and subsequently I can add the experience into my resume..haha..tetapi semakin lama, aku rasakan tanggungjawab ini agak sukar untuk digalas, walaupun sudah setahun aku menggalasnya..hahaha..I'll get over it..as usual,kan?
Mencairkan satu persoalan yang agak lama membeku di dalam hati..aku dapat rasakan sedikit kelegaan. Selama mana aku akan merasa lega? Aku tak pasti..tetapi ianya memadai..for now. Seperti yang telah aku luahkan di dalam diari, aku tidak akan selamanya begitu dan tidak akan selamanya begini. Jawapan demi jawapan menguatkan lagi keyakinan aku. Terima kasih sahabat..
Hari ini, langit terang. Mungkinkah hari-hari ku juga akan sentiasa terang di bulan Februari?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
..aLMosT
"When I need you, you're almost here..and I know that's not enough
But when I'm with you, I'm close to tears..cause you're only almost here.."
Monday, January 25, 2010
nOtE
5 minutes note:
I must admit, I am being strongly weak and stupidly strong all at the same time. I guess I'm just being greedy..
Monday, January 18, 2010
TiCk..tiCK..BoOMM!!!
Second entry for today.
Goo Jun Pyo said, "I feel like there's a timebomb inside my head..and it will explode anytime", of course this has been translated, cause I don't speak Korean! Either way it is being said, in Korean or English, it doesn't change the fact that I do feel like something is about to explode within me!
I guess, this is exactly how you suppose to feel whenever you are trying to keep everything to yourself. The ticking sound won't stop until you let it out..in my case, I refused to let it out even though I have many ways to make the annoiying sound dissapeard. Due to that, I have to bear the consequences myself. I am not proud of saying this out loud. I am not trying to prove myself to everyone..trying to claim that I am strong when the fact is, I am not that strong to begin with. I am not trying to buy people attention by saying, "hey, hear me out..hear me out.." because I know that is not necessary. I can always let people know a.k.a my friends if I want to be heard. I am totally well aware of what I'm putting myself into..always have and always will be!
I will not explain, what on earth I'm babbling about. This is one of many ways for me to distract myself..kind like Edward often told Bella, "please..distract me..". I need the distractions badly. Although I know, the timebomb will explode, someday, somehow..no matter how distracted I will get..I just hope that, when it did blow up, I won't be falling to pieces..cause if I did, I really don't know when or how I can put myself back together~~
Goo Jun Pyo said, "I feel like there's a timebomb inside my head..and it will explode anytime", of course this has been translated, cause I don't speak Korean! Either way it is being said, in Korean or English, it doesn't change the fact that I do feel like something is about to explode within me!
I guess, this is exactly how you suppose to feel whenever you are trying to keep everything to yourself. The ticking sound won't stop until you let it out..in my case, I refused to let it out even though I have many ways to make the annoiying sound dissapeard. Due to that, I have to bear the consequences myself. I am not proud of saying this out loud. I am not trying to prove myself to everyone..trying to claim that I am strong when the fact is, I am not that strong to begin with. I am not trying to buy people attention by saying, "hey, hear me out..hear me out.." because I know that is not necessary. I can always let people know a.k.a my friends if I want to be heard. I am totally well aware of what I'm putting myself into..always have and always will be!
I will not explain, what on earth I'm babbling about. This is one of many ways for me to distract myself..kind like Edward often told Bella, "please..distract me..". I need the distractions badly. Although I know, the timebomb will explode, someday, somehow..no matter how distracted I will get..I just hope that, when it did blow up, I won't be falling to pieces..cause if I did, I really don't know when or how I can put myself back together~~
LaGu iTu
Oh bulan..enggan melayan diriku lagi
Pabila..airmata membasahi pipi
Dan lagu-lagu di radio seolah-olah memerli aku
Pabila..kau bersama yang lain..
Adakah perasaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
Yang masih..bersemadi untukmu..
Dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
Di sebalik senyumanmu itu
Kau juga merindui aku..
Ku enggan..berpura-pura ku bahagia
Ku enggan..melihat kau bersama si dia
Dan ku akui cemburu..mula menular dalam diri
Pabila..kau bersama yang lain
Di saat kau merenung matanya
Ku rebah..jatuh ke bumi
Di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
Seperti..ku bernafas dalam air...
Dan sebenarnya..
Moral entry kali ini ialah, jangan terlampau mengutuk sesuatu. Aku memang tak suka sangat-sangat lagu Yuna ni. First time aku dengar, memang aku benci..tapi sekarang, aku amat-amat meminati melodi dan lirik lagu ini. So, dan sebenarnya...apa ya NurulHuda?
Pabila..airmata membasahi pipi
Dan lagu-lagu di radio seolah-olah memerli aku
Pabila..kau bersama yang lain..
Adakah perasaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
Yang masih..bersemadi untukmu..
Dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
Di sebalik senyumanmu itu
Kau juga merindui aku..
Ku enggan..berpura-pura ku bahagia
Ku enggan..melihat kau bersama si dia
Dan ku akui cemburu..mula menular dalam diri
Pabila..kau bersama yang lain
Di saat kau merenung matanya
Ku rebah..jatuh ke bumi
Di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
Seperti..ku bernafas dalam air...
Dan sebenarnya..
Moral entry kali ini ialah, jangan terlampau mengutuk sesuatu. Aku memang tak suka sangat-sangat lagu Yuna ni. First time aku dengar, memang aku benci..tapi sekarang, aku amat-amat meminati melodi dan lirik lagu ini. So, dan sebenarnya...apa ya NurulHuda?
Thursday, January 14, 2010
NoTe
5 minutes note:-
Feel like expressing myself before I switch off this pc and heading back home. I have to & I must keep on doing what I'm doing..kalau tak..boleh jadi gila!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
TeNTaNG
Mungkin kerana masih berada di awal tahun yang baru, aku rasa sangat bersemangat untuk hidup. Walaupun tiada sebarang resolusi tahun ini, aku ingin memulakan hidup dengan aura yang positif s.a.h.a.j.a...haha..What is happening to you this time NurulHuda??Entah la..mungkin kerana aku sudah habis nonton "Boys Over Flowers", atau kerana irama rancak dari "The Wondergirls"..jadi aku rasa hidup ini sangat best!haha..
I am thinking about wearing a mascara. Lin cakap, "dah besar dah yong.."..hahaha..When I told my mak about this, she just looked at me without saying a word, I guess the translation is, "buang tebiat pe budak ni..."hahaha..Aku nak pakai yang macam dalam iklan Maybelline ada harimau tu..macam cun,kan? Mata macam mata harimau..mungkin harimau tu lagi cun..hahaha
Aku ingin mendaki Bukit Broga di Semenyih..to watch the sun rise. I don't mind getting up as early as 4 a.m..! I know the climb will be so worth it. I am so full of life, am I?haha..
Aku bukanlah orang yang mampu mengamalkan konsep, happy-go-lucky. I know I can never be that type of person. I can be all bubly, chirpy, happy at one time but not all the time. If I'm upset or pissed off, it is clear for everyone to see. I'm quite good at keeping everything to myself, but to hide my emotions, I haven't master it yet. Rasanya, tak perlu nak sorok kalau aku marah ke, sedih ke, jiwa kacau ke..after all, I'm only human.
Benar, aku ingin optimistik tentang hidup. Benar, aku ingin hidup dengan baik-baik sahaja tahun ini. Benar, aku ingin sedikit perubahan untuk tahun ini. Apa yang aku nyatakan di atas juga, maskara, Bukit Broga dan tentang aku tidak akan menjadi insan yang happy-go-lucky semuanya adalah benar..dan tentang aku sangat bersemangat untuk hidup di tahun baru, juga benar.
Berapa lama semangat ini akan hidup? Aku tidak pasti. Adakah aku akan mula memakai maskara? Tidak pasti. Adakah aku akan menyaksikan matahari terbit dari puncak Bukit Broga? Tidak pasti. Adakah segalanya akan elok-elok sahaja untuk aku tahun ini? Tidak pasti.
Konklusi entry kali ini....we'll just wait and see :)
I am thinking about wearing a mascara. Lin cakap, "dah besar dah yong.."..hahaha..When I told my mak about this, she just looked at me without saying a word, I guess the translation is, "buang tebiat pe budak ni..."hahaha..Aku nak pakai yang macam dalam iklan Maybelline ada harimau tu..macam cun,kan? Mata macam mata harimau..mungkin harimau tu lagi cun..hahaha
Aku ingin mendaki Bukit Broga di Semenyih..to watch the sun rise. I don't mind getting up as early as 4 a.m..! I know the climb will be so worth it. I am so full of life, am I?haha..
Aku bukanlah orang yang mampu mengamalkan konsep, happy-go-lucky. I know I can never be that type of person. I can be all bubly, chirpy, happy at one time but not all the time. If I'm upset or pissed off, it is clear for everyone to see. I'm quite good at keeping everything to myself, but to hide my emotions, I haven't master it yet. Rasanya, tak perlu nak sorok kalau aku marah ke, sedih ke, jiwa kacau ke..after all, I'm only human.
Benar, aku ingin optimistik tentang hidup. Benar, aku ingin hidup dengan baik-baik sahaja tahun ini. Benar, aku ingin sedikit perubahan untuk tahun ini. Apa yang aku nyatakan di atas juga, maskara, Bukit Broga dan tentang aku tidak akan menjadi insan yang happy-go-lucky semuanya adalah benar..dan tentang aku sangat bersemangat untuk hidup di tahun baru, juga benar.
Berapa lama semangat ini akan hidup? Aku tidak pasti. Adakah aku akan mula memakai maskara? Tidak pasti. Adakah aku akan menyaksikan matahari terbit dari puncak Bukit Broga? Tidak pasti. Adakah segalanya akan elok-elok sahaja untuk aku tahun ini? Tidak pasti.
Konklusi entry kali ini....we'll just wait and see :)
Monday, January 4, 2010
SwEEt SiLvEr LiNiNg
I'm going home downhearted and hoping
I'm close to some new beginning
I know there's a reason for everything that comes and goes
But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving
I maybe weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining
Most days I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while, something's keeping me safe and alive
..and I won't give up like this, I will be given strength
..now that I've found it nothing can take that away
..and I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining...
~Kate Voegele a.k.a MiA, One Tree Hill~
I'm close to some new beginning
I know there's a reason for everything that comes and goes
But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving
I maybe weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining
Most days I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while, something's keeping me safe and alive
..and I won't give up like this, I will be given strength
..now that I've found it nothing can take that away
..and I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining...
~Kate Voegele a.k.a MiA, One Tree Hill~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)